Do you know a beautiful woman? Have you spoken with her lately? I don’t mean in a way that is casual, I mean, have you talked to her lately about the other … women! Have you asked her how she gets treated by other women she encounters? Her answer may surprise you… and get ready for an ear full!
In our society, beauty is worshiped. We spend trillions of dollars on our hair, make up, spa treatments and even puffing up our face and our lips so we don’t look as if we’ve aged. The Hollywood types have been sucked into a culture that young is the ONLY way to be, and as a result, reconstruct their faces and their bodies to try to resemble a 25 year old. Unfortunately, many times without success. Some recent examples of faces gone badly would be Michael Jackson, Joan Rivers and even my favorite, Meg Ryan. If the surgeon inserts too much fat in a lip or a check, the tabloids then have a hay day criticizing their recent appearance.
How are these beautiful people treated by the general population? There’s no doubt, beautiful people get better treatment. They receive better customer service and better discounts. People allow them to cut in line and treat them special. But there are also times, where beautiful people are treated horrible. Some of the beautiful people are tortured and treated horribly, by their “so called” friends.
I have a friend named Emily. Emily is a mom of 3 boys and a few years after she had the boys she decided to get into shape. She hired a trainer and got to work in the gym and with her diet. She discovered that the high protein, low carb diet worked well and within 2 months she had dropped 20lbs. She’s kept it off by running and by lifting weights.
This is when the problems started. While her customers admired her and her sales never dropped off, the ladies at the office started making snide remarks behind her back. They seemed to leave her out of afternoon get togethers and lunches out. Emily didn’t understand the dramatic change in the climate. After all she was still pulling in her sales and nothing else had changed. But SHE had changed. She had gone from average to beautiful in a few short months, and the women noticed it and didn’t like it.
Another friend who I coached through her transformation lost her baby weight, added hair extensions and a tan and soon many of the other ladies were following suit and adding hair extensions because they obviously admired her style. They also started tormenting her at work and started spreading vicious rumors about her and her boss. Finally, it got so bad that HR had to be called in and this is what she was told: “we’ve never seen anyone’s reputation so brutally attacked with no reason before and we’re sorry. We don’t see how we can resolve this unless you create a less low profile image.”
My friend ended up quitting.
Even at the golden globes, one reporter made a serious error on camera by chatting and flirting with Donald Trump and leaving his wife in the wings without so much as even a “Hello”. Can you imagine THAT reporter ever being invited to a party at the Trumps? Hardly! Ms. Trump is a former Ms. Universe and was just humiliated on national TV.
Beautiful women seem to be so intimidating to other women that many times, they’re treated horribly even before they open their mouths. Is it the way they hold themselves or is it our own insecurities? When we see a buxom lady showing it off, do we automatically get so annoyed that we immediately put our defenses up? When we zero in on a gal’s forehead that has been botoxed and lazored, do we admire her for wanting to improve or do we internally crucify her for wanting others approval?
Society is continuing to change and upgrade. Those of us who have judgments of others need only to review in their own lives when others have first unfairly judged us. Was there a time where you were judged based on your appearance? Was there a time where anyone was jealous of you for something you did or for something you bought or owned?
Jealousy is a natural emotion that pops up in mysterious ways. It causes people to rage and to turmoil and to treat others ferociously. So here’s an exercise to try: next time you start to be annoyed at someone’s success, stop yourself and ask yourself, what can I do to make them feel good? Can I congratulate them? Can I help them in some way? Can I start a lighthearted conversation with them to find out who this person really is?
When we acknowledge our own insecurities and work to overcome them, we’re the ones who grow and we’re the ones who gain the power. It’s worth it to notice our interactions with others; to improve upon them, and grow as a result.
Next time you’re jealous of another: Acknowledge your insecurity to yourself, say or do something nice for the person you’re jealous of, and then do the best thing you can do: and go do something to improve your mind or learn something new.
The world will be glad you did.
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