QUEEN BEE SYNDROME!

Fess up! Tell the truth!!! You’re a Queen Bee!!!

Okay.. maybe not all of the time.. but some of the times! Think about where you DOMINATE. Where do you rule the roost? Where are you most confident? Where can someone NOT trip you up!!!???

What? You’re a man? Okay.. you can call yourself A BULL for all I care.. but you’re still a QUEEN BEE!!!

I think it’s cute.. but it’s also important to know WHO is the QUEEN BEE WHERE!!!

I think of myself as a Queen Bee! Many places I go, I tend to be noticed. I gravitate towards the people who manage or run the show. I will meet them if I want or need to. I’m not always compelled to, but I do like knowing WHO is the QUEEN BEE wherever I go.. just in case I NEED to know! So I realize that even though I’m the QUEEN BEE in MY world.. wherever I go, there are OTHER QUEEN BEES that I have to get to know!

Think about it. If you are in a grocery store like I was recently and your birthday cake that you ordered and that you were to pick up at 3:00 was never made, would you sit and argue with the baker or would you go to the management of the store? I said to the cake decorator, “I’m sure there has been some mess up.. Let me go get some help”. The manager quickly got the right person to decorate a cake and it was ready for me in 20 minutes!!! That was INCREDIBLE.. especially since it was decorated as THE INCREDIBLES!

What about at the office? Do you know who the queen bee is? It’s not always the Owner or the manager you know! It very well may be the receptionist! I once knew a receptionist who worked on Capital Hill for major players. She was the lowest paid person in the whole office, but yet, if you called the office playing a personal call to someone there, she treated the caller rude. She didn’t like personal calls coming into the office. She was protecting her boss and subtly making everyone who called in for personal calls VERY uncomfortable. She was the one that you learned to walk on egg shells around.

When I finally learned that SHE was the QUEEN BEE of that SENATE OFFICE on Capital Hill, I learned how to TREAT the Queen Bee!!! I’d be HAPPY to talk with her! I’d ask her about her Baseball playing son and her latest dish that she cooked for her family. Boy, did I win HER over! I never got treated ill again!!!

Today I was coaching a client who I encouraged to find out WHO the QUEEN BEE was in the office that she was trying to secure as a client. She’s trying to get a consulting gig with a male client which isn’t as hard for a woman sales pro as it is for a man. (Given all things equal of course! )

She knew that there were a few other people making decisions along the way. There is another female in the office that brought her in initially. GOOD. That’s possibly the QUEEN BEE. She is now IN at the office.

But the OTHER QUEEN BEE to remember is the client’s wife!!! NEVER forget the WIFE or the spouse at home!

There are two sides to this client.
1. His professionalism at work and the job at hand. My client and I discussed the need for her to be the MOST professional in her presentation by hiring an outside company to prepare her presentation. She needs to blow them away in her presentation. The QUEEN BEE at the office needs to know that every new vendor views their company with the utmost amount of respect.

2. This client lives with a QUEEN BEE at home! Part of my client’s goal is to become FRIENDS with her future client. That includes knowing about his family and tapping into the fact that on any given day he might be more stressed than other days. Being able to ask the client if he is okay, or mentioning the fact that he sounds busy is a great sign that the sales person CARES for the customer.. and NOT just the COMMISSION. It’s a GREAT way to become friends with a client. Being friendly and knowing their emotional pulse while doing business is a DEFINITE advantage for a woman. But there needs to be a fine line.

So, we discussed today that my client send her hopeful client a BIG basket for the family on his way out of town. He’s going on vacation and we discussed that she could make a THEME basket centered around the families’ vacation. This works like a charm.. and the QUEEN BEE at home takes note. She was included!

Finding the QUEEN BEE sometimes takes times. Its not always the Top person in the office.. but it’s usually the person with the MOST influence.. EMOTIONALLY. It’s the person that is protective and loyal and will completely RAGE Against anyone who dares get too close.

Every subculture has one! On the TODAY show, it’s Katie! (Try tripping HER up and see how you get crucified!) In our homes, it’s often our KIDS. At the office.. it’s usually a receptionist or the second in command.

To work effectively with Queen Bees: A) Get to KNOW the Queen Bee. B)Find their buttons and work within those boundaries. 3) Don’t go around the Queen Bee’s back without either the knowledge or asking for the HELP of the QUEEN BEE. 4)If you trip up, apologize and move on.

If you ARE the QUEEN BEE: A. Be willing to help everyone in your domain. B. Don’t take yourself TOO seriously . C. Realize it’s not ALL about you everywhere else you go. D. Enjoy the special treatment when you get it!

It’s fun to be the QUEEN BEE when you get treated special .. but it’s not so much fun when you TRY to be the QUEEN BEE in someone elses’ territory.. But ahhhh.. that’s another blog in itself!!!