This morning I was at the YMCA and admiring some cute work out gear that a couple of the gals were selling. I stopped to talk with them and asked how they got into this work. They told me they were selling the clothes for another gal who imports the line from Isreal, Brazil and all over the world. Then I told them that the clothes were so cute, but they just weren’t in the “budget” right now!
Did that strike up a conversation! One of the women started complaining about being on a budget… I think for the first time in her life. Her husband keeps asking her where the money is going and she said, “groceries”. She didn’t have a budget before so she hasn’t curbed her spending.. and it was frustrating to the husband.
At that moment, she and I both said that everyone is having to cut down now.. and that everyone is having to change their habits. It was also a moment that I could have chimed in some inspirational quote, a piece of faith or cast a vision for the future, that isn’t the doom and gloom that the TV personalities are sharing, but a vision of hope, that we will be fine and we will survive the hard work we will put in to get us out of this recession.
So this morning, I’m searching for the perfect quote to memorize and share with those who I come in contact with throughout my days. And here are a few:
"It is time for us all to stand and cheer for the doer, the achiever - the one who recognizes the challenge and does something about it." Vince Lombardi
Tony Dorsett said:To succeed... you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.
Henry Kaiser said: “Trouble is only opportunity in work clothes.”
Then after I say the quote.. I’ll listen to my own words, and then go put it to action! This is how we stay a leader, in difficult times!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Blog from Jamie Miles on FACEBOOK
“Do I look old?”
Planning to venture into today’s media world, I remembered a high school friend, vivacious, fun-loving Mary Gardner. Television, radio, author; she’s a mass communication maven. Wanting to tap her vast knowledge, we sat down for coffee. A lot has changed about communicating since I’ve been in the business world, but now there is one undeniable common denominator. The Internet. I needed help wading into the vast waters of the Net without becoming tangled. As Mary talked, I took notes, sighed and scratched my head. Web sites, blogs, LinkedIn, EzineArticles, Twitter, change my bio. Did I even have a bio?
“And of course, “Facebook,” Mary mentioned, almost as an afterthought. At this point, my head was spinning and when my head spins I tend to say really stupid things, such as, “Facebook. I hear lots about it, but won’t there be something else in six months?”
Mary stared. “You’re not on Facebook?” No, I whispered, suddenly feeling very, very – I don’t know like a dog taking the most pleasant nap in the sunshine — on his master’s $11,000 Chippendale chair. A very happy hound was he, until his master came through the door cloaked by super-stealth capabilities. Busted; the master staring down upon his beloved dog with such disappointment. Mary had that look. “Jamie, if you’re not on Facebook, people will think you are old?” Think that I’m old? This was bad.
For to be thought old is much worse than to be called old. If someone calls you old to your face, either they are jesting, a cranky sort or believe you are merely acting old and can surely snap out of it. But to be silently considered old; the thinker believes you are beyond the reaches of Botox, boot camp workouts and biofeedback.
I procrastinated. Well, I started working on some of her suggestions. A Web site, a blog, tried to Twitter. It was just the Facebook thing.
Then a friend’s email invited me to join. Now to turn down an invitation would be rude, and though I might be thought old, it would be far worse to be thought rude. So I signed on with the Facebook Nation.
WOW. How long has this party been going on? Within 24 hours, I’d become “friends” with long lost elementary school chums, sorority sisters, missionary friends in Africa, the girl (now woman) who braved cheerleading tryouts by my side and dragged me on my first head-over-heels steel roller coaster; along with the 14 year-old daughter of my dearest college friend.
Who said you can’t teach a slightly-aging dog new tricks? Am I old? Just look at my face…book. (That was just a rhetorical question, not to prompt any posts on such.)
Checkout Mary’s Web site; http://marygardner.com/
Planning to venture into today’s media world, I remembered a high school friend, vivacious, fun-loving Mary Gardner. Television, radio, author; she’s a mass communication maven. Wanting to tap her vast knowledge, we sat down for coffee. A lot has changed about communicating since I’ve been in the business world, but now there is one undeniable common denominator. The Internet. I needed help wading into the vast waters of the Net without becoming tangled. As Mary talked, I took notes, sighed and scratched my head. Web sites, blogs, LinkedIn, EzineArticles, Twitter, change my bio. Did I even have a bio?
“And of course, “Facebook,” Mary mentioned, almost as an afterthought. At this point, my head was spinning and when my head spins I tend to say really stupid things, such as, “Facebook. I hear lots about it, but won’t there be something else in six months?”
Mary stared. “You’re not on Facebook?” No, I whispered, suddenly feeling very, very – I don’t know like a dog taking the most pleasant nap in the sunshine — on his master’s $11,000 Chippendale chair. A very happy hound was he, until his master came through the door cloaked by super-stealth capabilities. Busted; the master staring down upon his beloved dog with such disappointment. Mary had that look. “Jamie, if you’re not on Facebook, people will think you are old?” Think that I’m old? This was bad.
For to be thought old is much worse than to be called old. If someone calls you old to your face, either they are jesting, a cranky sort or believe you are merely acting old and can surely snap out of it. But to be silently considered old; the thinker believes you are beyond the reaches of Botox, boot camp workouts and biofeedback.
I procrastinated. Well, I started working on some of her suggestions. A Web site, a blog, tried to Twitter. It was just the Facebook thing.
Then a friend’s email invited me to join. Now to turn down an invitation would be rude, and though I might be thought old, it would be far worse to be thought rude. So I signed on with the Facebook Nation.
WOW. How long has this party been going on? Within 24 hours, I’d become “friends” with long lost elementary school chums, sorority sisters, missionary friends in Africa, the girl (now woman) who braved cheerleading tryouts by my side and dragged me on my first head-over-heels steel roller coaster; along with the 14 year-old daughter of my dearest college friend.
Who said you can’t teach a slightly-aging dog new tricks? Am I old? Just look at my face…book. (That was just a rhetorical question, not to prompt any posts on such.)
Checkout Mary’s Web site; http://marygardner.com/
Try Marketing from your Compassionate Side
I just spent a great branding consulting session with an attorney I coach in NYC. He works in the financial industry and told me that his clients have been hit with the recession. One of his clients, a woman who lives in a 5 million dollar house, is lamenting over the fact that she’s having to alter her lifestyle and it’s become depressing for her. She’s having a difficult time keeping up and things seem to be crashing in on her.
We discussed that as an attorney, he has the privilege of hearing about people’s personal lives, and is able to be a comfort to them. My client is a father, a husband, and went through 9/11 in NYC years ago, and has seen the ebbs and flows of life. At that point, I pointed out to him, that THIS is the new way of marketing his services!
We discussed him writing a LETTER to his clients, that will share his understanding of the stresses that we, as a society are under. Additionally, he will share that he’s been through many difficult things in life, such as 9/11 and has been able to experience, that challenges can sometimes trip us for a while, but that things always come back. Maybe not immediately, but eventually, they do come back.
I encouraged him to step up now and to be a strength to his clients, and to share with him that they WILL be fine and they will make it. Then, on a personalized marketing letter, he’ll share the things that he can do for them that will prepare them to go through this recession with the comfort of knowing they are doing all they can to protect their current assets. We listed them – things like readjusting the budget, reallocating funds, refinancing their house, and that he can and will work with their financial advisors, accountants and the banks if necessary.
By coming from a place of strength, and offering to be a source of comfort to his clients now, he’s giving them something other than excellent customer service. He’s giving them peace of mind during a very turbulent time.
Marketing yourself now means that you HAVE to come across as a LEADER. You must share your belief in our country, in your industry and in your service to your customers. People NEED someone to cling to now, someone who is going to tell them that things WILL be alright and that they will survive and thrive.
Try sharing your heart and be compassionate. More than likely, your clients, will open up, and share theirs with you as well. And probably, will trust enough, to open their wallets too!
We discussed that as an attorney, he has the privilege of hearing about people’s personal lives, and is able to be a comfort to them. My client is a father, a husband, and went through 9/11 in NYC years ago, and has seen the ebbs and flows of life. At that point, I pointed out to him, that THIS is the new way of marketing his services!
We discussed him writing a LETTER to his clients, that will share his understanding of the stresses that we, as a society are under. Additionally, he will share that he’s been through many difficult things in life, such as 9/11 and has been able to experience, that challenges can sometimes trip us for a while, but that things always come back. Maybe not immediately, but eventually, they do come back.
I encouraged him to step up now and to be a strength to his clients, and to share with him that they WILL be fine and they will make it. Then, on a personalized marketing letter, he’ll share the things that he can do for them that will prepare them to go through this recession with the comfort of knowing they are doing all they can to protect their current assets. We listed them – things like readjusting the budget, reallocating funds, refinancing their house, and that he can and will work with their financial advisors, accountants and the banks if necessary.
By coming from a place of strength, and offering to be a source of comfort to his clients now, he’s giving them something other than excellent customer service. He’s giving them peace of mind during a very turbulent time.
Marketing yourself now means that you HAVE to come across as a LEADER. You must share your belief in our country, in your industry and in your service to your customers. People NEED someone to cling to now, someone who is going to tell them that things WILL be alright and that they will survive and thrive.
Try sharing your heart and be compassionate. More than likely, your clients, will open up, and share theirs with you as well. And probably, will trust enough, to open their wallets too!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Marketing The NEW Way!
News Flash! Things are NOT business as usual!
My friends who go to networking events are sharing with me that their networking groups are up by a ton! My friend Tim who started COFFEEVENT on meetup.com, a networking group around Orlando told me that the numbers are up 55% since December. Wow! Way to go Tim! It’s a great service you’re providing.
People have obviously jumped in and are not taking the recession sitting down. They realize that their long time customers aren’t buying the volume that they were or have cut down entirely, and are now out looking for new customers. Many are adding new services or adding something new and unique to their offerings, and are putting in longer hours and offering better customer service than ever.
I read recently that if you want to be noticed, that your product or service really has to be something out of the ordinary, and do what others won’t. Businesses that are growing, are answering a need in the marketplace and not requiring their customers to buy in large quantities, and the old rules aren’t necessarily applying to today. Just take a trip to the mall and realize that so many businesses are going out of business so the ones that are surviving are doing something unique, new or different.
No one can afford to be the same as usual anymore.
Still, people are buying. If you take a trip out to Disney World or Universal, people are still partying and enjoying life. Perhaps many of the people pre-purchased these vacations like a lot of the experts said, or maybe they just needed a break from the constant stress that now surrounds each of us with the financial woes of our country.
Businesses are now spending more money on marketing and that’s where we are able to help. We’re now sending out mailings for numerous businesses and helping them be seen over all of the others.
Bartering is also a great new avenue that people are tapping into. Ask yourself, what services can you barter? This is the time to FIND something, because if things continue, it might come in handy to have something valuable to barter. Check out Craigs list to see the many people who are bartering services and products.
For those of you who are finding business in new and unique places.. way to go. Drop a note and let me know where you’re finding it and what you’re doing that’s new and unique.
Don’t take this recession sitting down. Don’t roll over and play dead! Get in the game, be seen and get excited. Our creativity can flow when we absolutely HAVE to come up with a new solution!
If you need a jump start on your creativity, a great book is Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. Or check ezinearticles.com on how to jump start your creativity!
Get those juices flowing…and who knows.. you might strike gold!
My friends who go to networking events are sharing with me that their networking groups are up by a ton! My friend Tim who started COFFEEVENT on meetup.com, a networking group around Orlando told me that the numbers are up 55% since December. Wow! Way to go Tim! It’s a great service you’re providing.
People have obviously jumped in and are not taking the recession sitting down. They realize that their long time customers aren’t buying the volume that they were or have cut down entirely, and are now out looking for new customers. Many are adding new services or adding something new and unique to their offerings, and are putting in longer hours and offering better customer service than ever.
I read recently that if you want to be noticed, that your product or service really has to be something out of the ordinary, and do what others won’t. Businesses that are growing, are answering a need in the marketplace and not requiring their customers to buy in large quantities, and the old rules aren’t necessarily applying to today. Just take a trip to the mall and realize that so many businesses are going out of business so the ones that are surviving are doing something unique, new or different.
No one can afford to be the same as usual anymore.
Still, people are buying. If you take a trip out to Disney World or Universal, people are still partying and enjoying life. Perhaps many of the people pre-purchased these vacations like a lot of the experts said, or maybe they just needed a break from the constant stress that now surrounds each of us with the financial woes of our country.
Businesses are now spending more money on marketing and that’s where we are able to help. We’re now sending out mailings for numerous businesses and helping them be seen over all of the others.
Bartering is also a great new avenue that people are tapping into. Ask yourself, what services can you barter? This is the time to FIND something, because if things continue, it might come in handy to have something valuable to barter. Check out Craigs list to see the many people who are bartering services and products.
For those of you who are finding business in new and unique places.. way to go. Drop a note and let me know where you’re finding it and what you’re doing that’s new and unique.
Don’t take this recession sitting down. Don’t roll over and play dead! Get in the game, be seen and get excited. Our creativity can flow when we absolutely HAVE to come up with a new solution!
If you need a jump start on your creativity, a great book is Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. Or check ezinearticles.com on how to jump start your creativity!
Get those juices flowing…and who knows.. you might strike gold!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Expressing a Positive Attitude When the Well is Dry
Every where I turn, people are talking about the recession… and comparing this to the Great Depression of the 30s. There is talk about the price of gas returning this summer to an all time high and the news continues to report lay offs by major companies. One peak at the front of Yahoo and there are announcements of numerous stores that are in the process of filing Chapter 11 and going down the tubes. Several people I know are hunting drastically for a job and finding nothing because of all of the hiring freezes, and people that I know where beautiful stay at home moms are now working 3 jobs.
While I’m no different, I’m a bit fortunate in a way, that I’m an entrepreneur and don’t own a store front. That means, I don’t have to be committed to selling pools because I can quickly hang up a new “sign” on my website, and print up new free cards at VISTA PRINT, and transform into something new every day if I wanted. Of course the whole process of sales and marketing takes time, so that wouldn’t be wise, but I have definitely added to my services over the past few months. We’ve added newsletter services, direct mailings and marketing pieces, and are helping people get up to speed on social networking sites. Wherever there is a need, we’ll fill it. I have an arsenal of professionals just waiting to get to work.. and I’m out there promoting them.
Meanwhile, that process in between the marketing time and the sale, can be a bit frustrating. You throw a ton of stuff out there and promote, promote, promote, hoping to get a sale. And part of why a person will start work with someone new, is because they like their tenacity, their confidence in their product and they feel like they’re the “best man for the job”. They also pick up on their attitude, and if that attitude suggests that the well is dry, and that there is an air of desperation in the air, the buyer WILL go elsewhere.
So how does a person do it? When they’re marketing their law service or their accounting service and need and want to attract customers, how do they stay fresh and positive and confident that they ARE the best person for the job.
There are several tips that I have been following and am encouraging those that I speak with to follow as well.
1. Turn off the news. You don’t need to know it to promote your products and services.
2. Hang around positive people! Seek them out and make a coffee date with them.
3. Drag out the motivational books. There were tons of people who became millionaires during the depression, because they did what others were not willing to do. By doing a bit of research, I found that there were lots of people who did make money during the depression, through investments, and liquefying companies etc.
4. Prepare for the worst. Just like families in California have a plan in the event of an earth quake and those of us in hurricane states have a plan in the event of a hurricane, have a plan for what could happen.
A. Save some Cash- at least a few thousand $ and keep it hidden.
B. Have some skill that people will want to barter… just in case we get to the point where you barter for everything.
C. Keep learning, because there just might be the BIG idea lurking right around the corner that might make you your million!
5. Expect the best! Live in gratitude every day. Be thankful for what you have – your health, your friends, your home, and the little things. Our perspective needs to change a bit, and our expectations, but we can adjust and find the good in all of it.
We’re going to be fine! We’re a strong country! We’re survivors and we’re pioneers! Let’s get out there and make it happen!!
Keeping it real.. every day!
While I’m no different, I’m a bit fortunate in a way, that I’m an entrepreneur and don’t own a store front. That means, I don’t have to be committed to selling pools because I can quickly hang up a new “sign” on my website, and print up new free cards at VISTA PRINT, and transform into something new every day if I wanted. Of course the whole process of sales and marketing takes time, so that wouldn’t be wise, but I have definitely added to my services over the past few months. We’ve added newsletter services, direct mailings and marketing pieces, and are helping people get up to speed on social networking sites. Wherever there is a need, we’ll fill it. I have an arsenal of professionals just waiting to get to work.. and I’m out there promoting them.
Meanwhile, that process in between the marketing time and the sale, can be a bit frustrating. You throw a ton of stuff out there and promote, promote, promote, hoping to get a sale. And part of why a person will start work with someone new, is because they like their tenacity, their confidence in their product and they feel like they’re the “best man for the job”. They also pick up on their attitude, and if that attitude suggests that the well is dry, and that there is an air of desperation in the air, the buyer WILL go elsewhere.
So how does a person do it? When they’re marketing their law service or their accounting service and need and want to attract customers, how do they stay fresh and positive and confident that they ARE the best person for the job.
There are several tips that I have been following and am encouraging those that I speak with to follow as well.
1. Turn off the news. You don’t need to know it to promote your products and services.
2. Hang around positive people! Seek them out and make a coffee date with them.
3. Drag out the motivational books. There were tons of people who became millionaires during the depression, because they did what others were not willing to do. By doing a bit of research, I found that there were lots of people who did make money during the depression, through investments, and liquefying companies etc.
4. Prepare for the worst. Just like families in California have a plan in the event of an earth quake and those of us in hurricane states have a plan in the event of a hurricane, have a plan for what could happen.
A. Save some Cash- at least a few thousand $ and keep it hidden.
B. Have some skill that people will want to barter… just in case we get to the point where you barter for everything.
C. Keep learning, because there just might be the BIG idea lurking right around the corner that might make you your million!
5. Expect the best! Live in gratitude every day. Be thankful for what you have – your health, your friends, your home, and the little things. Our perspective needs to change a bit, and our expectations, but we can adjust and find the good in all of it.
We’re going to be fine! We’re a strong country! We’re survivors and we’re pioneers! Let’s get out there and make it happen!!
Keeping it real.. every day!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The Old Man and the Dog
By Catherine Moore
"Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!" My father yelled at me. "Can't you do anything right?"
Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle. "I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving."
My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt. Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil.
What could I do about him? Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess. The years marched on relentlessly.
The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.
Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived. But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.
My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind.
But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it. The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered in vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, "I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article."
I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog. I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons too big, too small, too much hair. As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly. I pointed to the dog. "Can you tell me about him?" The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement. "He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow." He gestured helplessly. As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. "You mean you're going to kill him?" "Ma'am," he said gently, "that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog." I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. "I'll take him," I said.
I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch. "Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I said excitedly. Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. "If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it" Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house. Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples. "You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!" Dad ignored me. "Did you hear me, Dad?" I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate. We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw. Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal. It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship.
Dad named the pointer Cheyenne. Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet. Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends.
Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night. Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.
The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.""I've often thanked God for sending that angel," he said.
For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article... Cheyenne 's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter. . ..his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father. . and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all. Life is too short for drama & petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly. Live While You Are Alive. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time. Share this with someone.
Lost time can never be found.
By Catherine Moore
"Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!" My father yelled at me. "Can't you do anything right?"
Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle. "I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving."
My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt. Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back. At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil.
What could I do about him? Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess. The years marched on relentlessly.
The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.
Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived. But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.
My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind.
But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it. The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered in vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, "I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article."
I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog. I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons too big, too small, too much hair. As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly. I pointed to the dog. "Can you tell me about him?" The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement. "He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow." He gestured helplessly. As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. "You mean you're going to kill him?" "Ma'am," he said gently, "that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog." I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. "I'll take him," I said.
I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch. "Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I said excitedly. Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. "If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it" Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house. Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples. "You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!" Dad ignored me. "Did you hear me, Dad?" I screamed. At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate. We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw. Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal. It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship.
Dad named the pointer Cheyenne. Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet. Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends.
Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night. Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.
The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.""I've often thanked God for sending that angel," he said.
For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article... Cheyenne 's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter. . ..his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father. . and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all. Life is too short for drama & petty things, so laugh hard, love truly and forgive quickly. Live While You Are Alive. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time. Share this with someone.
Lost time can never be found.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Inauguration Day 2009
I just finished watching President Barak Obama being sworn in. It was an exciting and thrilling thing to see so many people turn out and be so genuinely happy.
What I took away, is that he is going to lead us, and the countries who watch us to really start the movement of being more compassionate, more helpful and less egotistical. He encouraged us to keep moving, to keep fighting and that we will triumph!
I’m really grateful to live in a country where we are free to vote for who we want to lead us. My mother in law is from Cuba, and she’s only been back once in 60 years… because of the tyrant Castro. It’s wonderful to know that here in America we are free to make our own choices and create our own path.
God Bless America… today and always!
What I took away, is that he is going to lead us, and the countries who watch us to really start the movement of being more compassionate, more helpful and less egotistical. He encouraged us to keep moving, to keep fighting and that we will triumph!
I’m really grateful to live in a country where we are free to vote for who we want to lead us. My mother in law is from Cuba, and she’s only been back once in 60 years… because of the tyrant Castro. It’s wonderful to know that here in America we are free to make our own choices and create our own path.
God Bless America… today and always!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Transitioning Work to Fit the Current Need
It used to be when you’d bump into friends and associates and ask how they were, the answer would always be a predictable “Great! How are you?” These days however, the return answer is more likely to be, “well, we’re surviving, or I haven’t sold anything in the past 6 months, or we’re really hurting, or even the worst, I lost my job!”
Today’s environment is rough, but there are things that a person can do differently to meet the new business environment with excitement and anticipation instead of with dread.
First of all, if you already serve a niche market and sell something like my friend Fred who sells pools, possibly think smaller. What other services or additions can you offer to the people who already HAVE pools? If people aren’t going to purchase that big ticket item for another year and you have to survive, what are you going to do to adjust… instead of going down with the ship like so many others? In order to get out of the box, try collaborating with former clients or customers who know you well and can offer a sound piece of advice. In addition to that, jump start this collaborative process by getting together with other companies you currently work with and share business. Between the bulk of you, there are likely to be some services that are not now available that jointly you can offer. Even if this is a short term solution, by getting out of the box and offering a service or product that is needed is a way to save the company from going down completely.
I am currently working with a large scale developer. His name is huge around town and he’s won all sorts of awards for the projects he’s developed. He has an eye towards sophistication and his projects have increased the value of the neighborhoods where they were built. This gentleman was a friend of mine from high school, and it’s been fun to work with him over the past few weeks and see how he has transformed his company because he’s not selling the condos that he built. He shared with me that the banks aren’t lending and current homeowners in his projects are underselling the new condos, so he’s losing money fast. I loved his quote that he shared with me, “that everyone these days is broke on different levels”.
My friend has taken an aggressive move to go back into remodeling and renovation. His new motto is no project is too small. We quickly created a “team” of professionals for him.. of kitchen and bath, insurance adjusters and of architects. He’s now set up to do emails and newsletters along with direct mail to reach the community at large. He’s got to let people know about his services and keep in their minds, just in case an opportunity becomes available.
Another “friend” is an architect… and yes I’ve gotten the two of them together! But because she’s not busy with drawing specs and plans now, she’s returned to pottery! She’ll more than likely do art shows and sell pieces to friends and wherever possible.
Another client is an insurance appraiser. He’s currently doing work, but not making as much $ as he could if he was on his own. So, he’s pursuing going out on his own and has a plan to launch by May.
Another client offers therapy services to customers and has a wide range of clients on a weekly. She’s created a resource chart for them to have at home, and we’re about to launch it nationally. It’s a chart that will tell parents how to deal with the kids at the moment they have a problem. What a brilliant idea, and for about $20 and the ability to get the word out nationally, she’s sure to create a new stream of income and to bring value to so many people in the process.
Most of my clients have gotten off their duffs and are networking like crazy! They’re making their mission known in the world of being available and hope to serve their customers with pleasure.
This new work environment has humbled us a bit. But perhaps we needed it. Were we too big for our britches? Were we getting complacent as a country?
As we move into 2009, the prospect for change and growth looks good. We have to do what we can to keep moving, keep active and keep hungry!
I love this quote by the Dr. Martin Luther King, an appropriate person today, MLK day, and quote during these challenging days: “ The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Lets get out there and show the world what American’s are made of… by surviving one challenge at a time!
Today’s environment is rough, but there are things that a person can do differently to meet the new business environment with excitement and anticipation instead of with dread.
First of all, if you already serve a niche market and sell something like my friend Fred who sells pools, possibly think smaller. What other services or additions can you offer to the people who already HAVE pools? If people aren’t going to purchase that big ticket item for another year and you have to survive, what are you going to do to adjust… instead of going down with the ship like so many others? In order to get out of the box, try collaborating with former clients or customers who know you well and can offer a sound piece of advice. In addition to that, jump start this collaborative process by getting together with other companies you currently work with and share business. Between the bulk of you, there are likely to be some services that are not now available that jointly you can offer. Even if this is a short term solution, by getting out of the box and offering a service or product that is needed is a way to save the company from going down completely.
I am currently working with a large scale developer. His name is huge around town and he’s won all sorts of awards for the projects he’s developed. He has an eye towards sophistication and his projects have increased the value of the neighborhoods where they were built. This gentleman was a friend of mine from high school, and it’s been fun to work with him over the past few weeks and see how he has transformed his company because he’s not selling the condos that he built. He shared with me that the banks aren’t lending and current homeowners in his projects are underselling the new condos, so he’s losing money fast. I loved his quote that he shared with me, “that everyone these days is broke on different levels”.
My friend has taken an aggressive move to go back into remodeling and renovation. His new motto is no project is too small. We quickly created a “team” of professionals for him.. of kitchen and bath, insurance adjusters and of architects. He’s now set up to do emails and newsletters along with direct mail to reach the community at large. He’s got to let people know about his services and keep in their minds, just in case an opportunity becomes available.
Another “friend” is an architect… and yes I’ve gotten the two of them together! But because she’s not busy with drawing specs and plans now, she’s returned to pottery! She’ll more than likely do art shows and sell pieces to friends and wherever possible.
Another client is an insurance appraiser. He’s currently doing work, but not making as much $ as he could if he was on his own. So, he’s pursuing going out on his own and has a plan to launch by May.
Another client offers therapy services to customers and has a wide range of clients on a weekly. She’s created a resource chart for them to have at home, and we’re about to launch it nationally. It’s a chart that will tell parents how to deal with the kids at the moment they have a problem. What a brilliant idea, and for about $20 and the ability to get the word out nationally, she’s sure to create a new stream of income and to bring value to so many people in the process.
Most of my clients have gotten off their duffs and are networking like crazy! They’re making their mission known in the world of being available and hope to serve their customers with pleasure.
This new work environment has humbled us a bit. But perhaps we needed it. Were we too big for our britches? Were we getting complacent as a country?
As we move into 2009, the prospect for change and growth looks good. We have to do what we can to keep moving, keep active and keep hungry!
I love this quote by the Dr. Martin Luther King, an appropriate person today, MLK day, and quote during these challenging days: “ The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Lets get out there and show the world what American’s are made of… by surviving one challenge at a time!
Monday, January 05, 2009
Working with a Sense of Calm Today....
Today is the first workday of the year. We had a wonderful and peaceful and relaxing vacation which we spent with family and friends and even got away to the beach for a week. It was incredible to be with good friends, working out and walking along the beach. I couldn’t have asked for a better time.
So our minds were at rest when we got home on Friday and so we felt rejuvenated to attack the house and clean up the Christmas stuff along with cleaning out closets and drawers and clothes. We’ll be taking a trip to the Good Will this week to make a huge deposit!
My mind now feels fresh with no anxiety to hit the work week. I have administrative things to do, marketing things to do along with sales and customer support, but I am excited to get through these things and have a sense of calm and peace about myself and my work day.
I will keep this in mind when things get overwhelming… and this will be a new habit to integrate this year.
Stop, rest and renew… then get back to work!
So our minds were at rest when we got home on Friday and so we felt rejuvenated to attack the house and clean up the Christmas stuff along with cleaning out closets and drawers and clothes. We’ll be taking a trip to the Good Will this week to make a huge deposit!
My mind now feels fresh with no anxiety to hit the work week. I have administrative things to do, marketing things to do along with sales and customer support, but I am excited to get through these things and have a sense of calm and peace about myself and my work day.
I will keep this in mind when things get overwhelming… and this will be a new habit to integrate this year.
Stop, rest and renew… then get back to work!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
When Things are in Sync
This is a really special week. I keep being amazed (ok, I really wanted to say I keep freaking out!) over how linked it appears my life is flowing right now. I shouldn’t be surprised. I have prayed for miracles and little by little, day by day, they seem to appear out of no where. For starters, our best friends G. and M. from NYC swapped houses with a family in Florida. They found a great one, in Pensacola Beach FL and they invited us to come for the week. We were excited to spend time with them, and so was Jeremy! My college roomie, Donna, her husband Steve, live here with their two kids and they’re newly adopted “cousins” of my son. He considers them like his brother and sister and we’ve made a commitment to see them as much as possible through the years because the kids get along so well. So when we discovered that the swapped house was less than a mile from Donna and Steve’s. And not only that, the couple was a friend of Donna’s! Then, my NYC friends convinced the owners to let them use their luxury condo on the beach instead. So when we got here, we had already spent loads of time here last summer while at surf camp! So, the whole thing was familiar to my son and me. Then we met some of the neighbors. They were former good friends and neighbors of Donna’s and Steve’s. Then at the pool we met a gal from Indiana . As it turned out, her husband and his employee who was coming to stay worked in Mississippi on similar projects. So many cross over’s. Then, other things were happening! Our closest friends J and E from Winter Park happened to plan a trip to Pensacola too. And after talking further we found out that not only did E. go to Auburn a few years ahead of Donna and me, but he went to Donna’s high school in Birmingham! Then, several work things started happening. My friend M. from NYC shared some work contracts with me that I needed to find and she just happened to be working on the same thing at the same time I was. Then she suggested I take a class in a particular area, and I happened to get an email from a friend in Orlando who told me she was not available for a networking event I invited her to because she was teaching a class. Yep! The one I needed to take! I just keep watching these little synchronicities unfold and am amazed at how it all seems to fit so seamlessly. Things that we need, from special conversations with loved ones to new clients calling, keep popping up, and when I pray for something else, it seems to appear. It must mean that our life is in sync at the moment. My family is at rest with people that we love and who love us, and there is such a great feeling of contentment in the air. It’s such a welcome thing after such a difficult year that we’re leaving behind.
I’m now believing that seamless way of living will continue, and that I can have the faith that whatever we need as a family will manifest whether it be love, friends, or a tangible such as finances.
So as we go into the New Year, I welcome a simple way of life and hope and pray that we can be satisfied with whatever comes our way as we pursue our goals in our family and our businesses. And not only be satisfied, but truly know that that is exactly how things are supposed to be.
Because being in sync is truly a wonderful way to live.
I’m now believing that seamless way of living will continue, and that I can have the faith that whatever we need as a family will manifest whether it be love, friends, or a tangible such as finances.
So as we go into the New Year, I welcome a simple way of life and hope and pray that we can be satisfied with whatever comes our way as we pursue our goals in our family and our businesses. And not only be satisfied, but truly know that that is exactly how things are supposed to be.
Because being in sync is truly a wonderful way to live.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Twas the Night Before Christmas
It’s almost time… the gifts are wrapped.. and Santa has shopped.. and the stockings are hung by the chimney with care… ready to be stuffed!!!
Tonight, at my parents house, will be most of my family getting together to celebrate the birth of the Christ Jesus. We’ll eat, drink and pray, and thank God for our health and for our time on this earth.
Among us, are stressed out parents, brothers and sisters, kids, teens, and even a fiancé who will be at the celebration. We all live very, very different lives, but for the first time this year, we’ll come together as a family and enjoy one another.
We will be at my parents house, who are deeply spiritual people, and who live such selfless and dedicated lives to their families.. more than most people I’ve ever met. My dad is not only the head of the house hold, but a spiritual giant among us, and both he and my mom will be celebrating to have their family there, celebrating the Birth of Christ.
The older I get, the more I think about Jesus being born only 2008 years ago. When we view dinosaur remains in museums that were millions of years ago, a couple of thousand doesn’t seem like such a long time ago. And the more I understand the deep importance of being a mother, the more respect I have for Jesus’ mother Mary, who gave birth they say as a young teenager, and watched her son die a tortured death at the young age of 33.
So tonight, my dad will pray a beautiful prayer to Jesus, who we recognize as God the Son, part of God the Father, and the Holy Spirit… three in one. We will thank Him for being born, and for coming into the world to give us a new direction saving us from our sins.
Then we’ll eat, and drink and open gifts, and then we’ll all go home to wait for Santa and his reindeer. Tomorrow, when we awake, Santa will have arrived, we’ll open the gifts and then we’ll go to mass, and then we’ll spend the day playing with the toys he brought!
The rush is almost done.. I have a few things to do before the 7PM arrival time… but the calm before the storm has arrived.
Blessed be to everyone on this Christmas Eve… Bless us everyone!!!
Tonight, at my parents house, will be most of my family getting together to celebrate the birth of the Christ Jesus. We’ll eat, drink and pray, and thank God for our health and for our time on this earth.
Among us, are stressed out parents, brothers and sisters, kids, teens, and even a fiancé who will be at the celebration. We all live very, very different lives, but for the first time this year, we’ll come together as a family and enjoy one another.
We will be at my parents house, who are deeply spiritual people, and who live such selfless and dedicated lives to their families.. more than most people I’ve ever met. My dad is not only the head of the house hold, but a spiritual giant among us, and both he and my mom will be celebrating to have their family there, celebrating the Birth of Christ.
The older I get, the more I think about Jesus being born only 2008 years ago. When we view dinosaur remains in museums that were millions of years ago, a couple of thousand doesn’t seem like such a long time ago. And the more I understand the deep importance of being a mother, the more respect I have for Jesus’ mother Mary, who gave birth they say as a young teenager, and watched her son die a tortured death at the young age of 33.
So tonight, my dad will pray a beautiful prayer to Jesus, who we recognize as God the Son, part of God the Father, and the Holy Spirit… three in one. We will thank Him for being born, and for coming into the world to give us a new direction saving us from our sins.
Then we’ll eat, and drink and open gifts, and then we’ll all go home to wait for Santa and his reindeer. Tomorrow, when we awake, Santa will have arrived, we’ll open the gifts and then we’ll go to mass, and then we’ll spend the day playing with the toys he brought!
The rush is almost done.. I have a few things to do before the 7PM arrival time… but the calm before the storm has arrived.
Blessed be to everyone on this Christmas Eve… Bless us everyone!!!
Monday, December 22, 2008
TIME TO TRANSFORM!
I love the quote the only constant is CHANGE.
For me, and I think for many people, these challenging and different economic times are forcing me to look at my core and to see what needs change. After evaluation, I realized, “wow.. there is a LOT that needs work in my life.” I guess that I was content with the status quo, and lived as contently as I could.
But now? It’s buck up or shut up time! It’s put the pedal to the medal and get your butt in gear time! It’s the time to take charge, take numbers or whatever else you gotta take to get things rolling forward again in a positive way!
For myself.. I’m considering that I’m doing some transforming. And I’m pretty psyched to say, that as a result of “some” of the transforming.. a LOT of transforming is going on .
Here are a few things that are transforming in my life:1. My business! With several balls in the air and the “go ahead” on several projects, including TV, radio and a book, I’ve had to take a step back and realize that none of them can be completed on my own. I’m now collaborating or looking for partners to collaborate in all of my projects! This takes the burden off of me and can bring my projects to a whole new level!
2. My services! I was doing coaching and TV. Now… all of a sudden, because I have an interest in it and because I write about it for the Orlando Business Journal, I’m working in the area of social media/networking. I love it.. and so much to learn and so much to share!
3. My body! I’m doing the body for life program and it’s easy, a fast transformation in 12 weeks, and I’m not hungry. I’ve been on it a week and my pants are starting to be a bit loser.
4. My habit of drinking a glass of wine daily! The alcohol is now GONE from my diet.. and I feel like I have more energy than ever. I used the excuse that “Oprah and Dr. Oz recommend a glass a day” but truthfully, it did make me relaxed and lazy at the end of the day, not full of energy which is what I need to handle all of the things in our busy life!
5. My family! There were “changes” that needed to happen at home and I forced them to occur. Now, I’m glad I did. Things that had slipped by for a long time are no longer acceptable to me and I’m getting on top of all of these things and with a shift in priorities, we’ll keep these changes in place!
These are just a few but very important changes that I’ve made. I’m upping my game, and I’m moving into a different arena. I’m moving from the minors into the majors and I’m challenging myself to go for the gold.
Okay.. enough of the endless talk. The biggest change is that instead of bragging about all of my changes.. I’m actually implementing them. That is the most exciting part. This time, it’s for real.. and they’re becoming habits instead of dreams!!!
Time to transform???? Get support, learn from the best, and get rid of the distractions. You’ll be glad you did!
For me, and I think for many people, these challenging and different economic times are forcing me to look at my core and to see what needs change. After evaluation, I realized, “wow.. there is a LOT that needs work in my life.” I guess that I was content with the status quo, and lived as contently as I could.
But now? It’s buck up or shut up time! It’s put the pedal to the medal and get your butt in gear time! It’s the time to take charge, take numbers or whatever else you gotta take to get things rolling forward again in a positive way!
For myself.. I’m considering that I’m doing some transforming. And I’m pretty psyched to say, that as a result of “some” of the transforming.. a LOT of transforming is going on .
Here are a few things that are transforming in my life:1. My business! With several balls in the air and the “go ahead” on several projects, including TV, radio and a book, I’ve had to take a step back and realize that none of them can be completed on my own. I’m now collaborating or looking for partners to collaborate in all of my projects! This takes the burden off of me and can bring my projects to a whole new level!
2. My services! I was doing coaching and TV. Now… all of a sudden, because I have an interest in it and because I write about it for the Orlando Business Journal, I’m working in the area of social media/networking. I love it.. and so much to learn and so much to share!
3. My body! I’m doing the body for life program and it’s easy, a fast transformation in 12 weeks, and I’m not hungry. I’ve been on it a week and my pants are starting to be a bit loser.
4. My habit of drinking a glass of wine daily! The alcohol is now GONE from my diet.. and I feel like I have more energy than ever. I used the excuse that “Oprah and Dr. Oz recommend a glass a day” but truthfully, it did make me relaxed and lazy at the end of the day, not full of energy which is what I need to handle all of the things in our busy life!
5. My family! There were “changes” that needed to happen at home and I forced them to occur. Now, I’m glad I did. Things that had slipped by for a long time are no longer acceptable to me and I’m getting on top of all of these things and with a shift in priorities, we’ll keep these changes in place!
These are just a few but very important changes that I’ve made. I’m upping my game, and I’m moving into a different arena. I’m moving from the minors into the majors and I’m challenging myself to go for the gold.
Okay.. enough of the endless talk. The biggest change is that instead of bragging about all of my changes.. I’m actually implementing them. That is the most exciting part. This time, it’s for real.. and they’re becoming habits instead of dreams!!!
Time to transform???? Get support, learn from the best, and get rid of the distractions. You’ll be glad you did!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Focus on What Matters
It's no secret to anyone, that living with special needs in a home is very challenging on a daily basis. It can be overwhelming on most days, but recently I heard something that has made it all a lot less challenging. It was a very, very short statement, from a long time friend and business associate, Paul, who I shared with the other day about the issues I deal with on a daily basis. I was telling him about how we have to control every single piece of the environment in our world in order to have a normal day with my son. I shared with him that the external things in my world are also very busy and demanding and sometimes I just get in a state of overwhelm. I feel so incredibly blessed to have the “BTS gals” with whom I can share these daily issues and they’re always quick to help me see the positive amidst the trials.
He told me this: “Focus on What Matters”
Wow… that was so enlightening to me at the moment! It means that I know clearly that the absolute most important thing to me is that my son has a safe and comfortable home, is eating well, and all of his needs are taken care of, and his body, mind, soul and spirit are nurtured. Because he has Sensory Processing Disorder issues, his body gets out of whack quite often and it causes a lot of disruption in our daily routine. If he has an overload of sugar, like one or two ice cream cones, his body reacts so severely that he wakes up at night, thrashing and in turmoil. Then the next day, clothes feel uncomfortable and then we’re late for school.
At this point, controlling our environment, and every single second of his life, is what I have to do in order for our lives to work. I monitor his food, his food intake, to make sure it’s healthy, nutritious and without preservatives. His clothes have to be soft and worn, his hair has to be short or it can cause us to spend an hour fighting it, and he has to do intense exercise every single day, which means swim practice, trampoline jumping or rip stick riding.
Homework is another challenge, and so depending upon the day, it might or might not get done. If he’s uncomfortable, there is no use trying to hurry him up, because he’d react to that, so we have to decide.. what matters more.. him being late or him being comfortable and feeling loved? I choose love.
I can’t say I was always like that! For years, before I knew all of this about my son, I would rush him and hurry him and stress him out… and be completely stressed over the situation. I worried about him getting to school on time, about being respectful of others times, of him getting to say the pledge of allegiance and him not getting a tardy remark. I think of all of the upsets we have had over the years with me not figuring out what would work for HIM first and having everything else come second after him and his special needs.
At this point, we’ve suffered through many years of NOT knowing, that now I’m completely dedicated to helping OTHER families find these things out early so they won’t have to stress and struggle with knowing what to do on a daily basis.
So what about you? What matters most to you? Is it a certain project that you’re working on? If so, what are you doing on a daily basis to support that to happen? Is it your health? Are you committed to being healthy or losing weight? Are you doing everything in your power to support that every second of every day? Is it your children? Do you want them to be excellent students or top notch athletes?
In order for me to be strong enough mentally and physically to handle all of the demands that my personal life takes, I’ve had to move my own health up to a very high priority in my life. I have to feel good in order to handle these complications so they don’t stress me out so I don’t also loose control. And because I’ve done this, I’ve found that I’ve found that I have EXTRA strength, that allows me to be there for my son, for my family, and to give energy to the work that I’m doing and the cause that I’m dedicated to.
So the thought for the day, is to Focus on What Matters! And by clearing out the STUFF that gets in the way of what really matters, and focusing your heart and soul in that direction, and take care of yourself so you have the energy to do what it takes to get it all done, you’ll actually be more effective at doing all of the other stuff that needs to get done.
Amazing, simple, easy, but life changing concept!
Focus on What Matters!
He told me this: “Focus on What Matters”
Wow… that was so enlightening to me at the moment! It means that I know clearly that the absolute most important thing to me is that my son has a safe and comfortable home, is eating well, and all of his needs are taken care of, and his body, mind, soul and spirit are nurtured. Because he has Sensory Processing Disorder issues, his body gets out of whack quite often and it causes a lot of disruption in our daily routine. If he has an overload of sugar, like one or two ice cream cones, his body reacts so severely that he wakes up at night, thrashing and in turmoil. Then the next day, clothes feel uncomfortable and then we’re late for school.
At this point, controlling our environment, and every single second of his life, is what I have to do in order for our lives to work. I monitor his food, his food intake, to make sure it’s healthy, nutritious and without preservatives. His clothes have to be soft and worn, his hair has to be short or it can cause us to spend an hour fighting it, and he has to do intense exercise every single day, which means swim practice, trampoline jumping or rip stick riding.
Homework is another challenge, and so depending upon the day, it might or might not get done. If he’s uncomfortable, there is no use trying to hurry him up, because he’d react to that, so we have to decide.. what matters more.. him being late or him being comfortable and feeling loved? I choose love.
I can’t say I was always like that! For years, before I knew all of this about my son, I would rush him and hurry him and stress him out… and be completely stressed over the situation. I worried about him getting to school on time, about being respectful of others times, of him getting to say the pledge of allegiance and him not getting a tardy remark. I think of all of the upsets we have had over the years with me not figuring out what would work for HIM first and having everything else come second after him and his special needs.
At this point, we’ve suffered through many years of NOT knowing, that now I’m completely dedicated to helping OTHER families find these things out early so they won’t have to stress and struggle with knowing what to do on a daily basis.
So what about you? What matters most to you? Is it a certain project that you’re working on? If so, what are you doing on a daily basis to support that to happen? Is it your health? Are you committed to being healthy or losing weight? Are you doing everything in your power to support that every second of every day? Is it your children? Do you want them to be excellent students or top notch athletes?
In order for me to be strong enough mentally and physically to handle all of the demands that my personal life takes, I’ve had to move my own health up to a very high priority in my life. I have to feel good in order to handle these complications so they don’t stress me out so I don’t also loose control. And because I’ve done this, I’ve found that I’ve found that I have EXTRA strength, that allows me to be there for my son, for my family, and to give energy to the work that I’m doing and the cause that I’m dedicated to.
So the thought for the day, is to Focus on What Matters! And by clearing out the STUFF that gets in the way of what really matters, and focusing your heart and soul in that direction, and take care of yourself so you have the energy to do what it takes to get it all done, you’ll actually be more effective at doing all of the other stuff that needs to get done.
Amazing, simple, easy, but life changing concept!
Focus on What Matters!
Friday, November 21, 2008
High School Nerves Can Pop Up Anytime!
Three years ago I moved back to my home town of Winter Park, FL. I have loved running into “kids” who now have kids of their own, even going off to college. Of course our hair is a little greyer, balder, and we might be a little fatter, but the faces are the same and their personalities are usually more developed and secure.
There are still times however, that the old high school nerves pop up, and today is one of those days!
Today I’m giving a seminar to 6 lawyers. It’s not like I haven’t done this before. Two weeks ago I spoke before a crowd of 400+ and barely had a second of nerves. But today? Two football player studs from my high school will be in attendance. And it starts in 1 hour!
Can I teach them something valuable? Will they learn something they didn’t know?
And of course the less secure thoughts…
“Will they like me? Will I dazzle them? Will they wonder… “wow.. she’s really come a long way.. or Yah.. I always knew she had pizzazz in high school!”
Okay.. how silly! It’s the content I’m excited about teaching because I’ve learned so much while prepping for it.
Still.. that little insecure side of me that is creeping up… is still there..
Human nature.. such a bizarre thing.
I’ll just chalk it up to.. I’m human!!!
Wish me luck!!!
There are still times however, that the old high school nerves pop up, and today is one of those days!
Today I’m giving a seminar to 6 lawyers. It’s not like I haven’t done this before. Two weeks ago I spoke before a crowd of 400+ and barely had a second of nerves. But today? Two football player studs from my high school will be in attendance. And it starts in 1 hour!
Can I teach them something valuable? Will they learn something they didn’t know?
And of course the less secure thoughts…
“Will they like me? Will I dazzle them? Will they wonder… “wow.. she’s really come a long way.. or Yah.. I always knew she had pizzazz in high school!”
Okay.. how silly! It’s the content I’m excited about teaching because I’ve learned so much while prepping for it.
Still.. that little insecure side of me that is creeping up… is still there..
Human nature.. such a bizarre thing.
I’ll just chalk it up to.. I’m human!!!
Wish me luck!!!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
A Down Day during the Down Times
This week I received an amazing gift. It made my heart happy and when I said thank you it was genuine and enthusiastic! The person who gave it to me quickly shared everything about the gift and was just as excited that she was able to give it to me!
What was it?
Not a “traditional” type of gift, but the best kind of gift for a mom who has had a child who is a bit high maintenance at school every day!
It was a note from my son’s Language Arts teacher who told me that my son had a really great day the day before, and was focused, attentive, quiet and read his work really well.
We both were ebullient when talking about the change in my son, and she suggested that whatever we had done that morning, was WORKING! It was a Monday morning that he had the great success and I explained to her that on Sunday, we didn’t do ANYTHING all day long. Jeremy never even got dressed and we just laid around the house all day long and built a fire in the fireplace, I cooked from sun up to sun down, had delicious aromas floating through the house, and my husband, me and Jeremy just enjoyed being at home, and relaxed like most of us never get to do. We watched a little TV, but just a movie at night, while my husband went to church for all of us. I felt it best to keep Jeremy home since the day before he went to the beach and crabbing with our friend Bruce and his two kids and came home very, very content, but had a scratchy voice, which because he loved the sound of it, he kept talking more and more and more!
Most of our week is scheduled down to the minute. I pick up Jeremy by bike at school at 3 in the afternoon, then we race home and have a snack and get his homework done. Then we ride our bikes to the YMCA and he has swim practice for an hour and I work out. Then we go home and I cook dinner, then we either do more homework or play a family game like dominos and then we do the bed time routine. That can take a while of course, because he always likes to get another snack and prolong it as much as possible!
When Friday comes, we don’t have swim practice, so we do “Fun Friday”, which means visit friends, go to Disney World, or hang out at the park with other families. Saturday is usually swim meet day, and chores, and then Sunday morning we go to Church and Jeremy has religious education. There aren’t many days where we do absolutely nothing and enjoy it.
Truth be told, I worked my tail off that day, cooking and cleaning and keeping the fire lit and doing laundry, but it was all at home and we weren’t on any schedule and I was able to make a beautiful, restful and peaceful home for my family. … the kind I always loved when I was a kid.
Little did I know how hard my parents were working to give me that amazing and so oh so needed rest!!
Having a “down” day was exactly what we all needed to give us that boost that we needed to start the week. When the body is tired, it doesn’t function well, and the better it’s rested, the more productive we can be.
Perhaps all of us now need to take a pause, and to readjust our schedules. Perhaps rather than running all of our side businesses, keeping up with the Jones, running here and there and everywhere to try to get it all done, perhaps we should all just take a rest every week and do nothing. Put on some classical music, light a fire in the fireplace or put on some candles to set the atmosphere, and break out the family games.
The rest and the comfort of doing nothing, will probably give you the extra strength to manage the stress that comes along whether you want it to or not, and will probably be exactly what you and your family needs, during this difficult and down economy.
What was it?
Not a “traditional” type of gift, but the best kind of gift for a mom who has had a child who is a bit high maintenance at school every day!
It was a note from my son’s Language Arts teacher who told me that my son had a really great day the day before, and was focused, attentive, quiet and read his work really well.
We both were ebullient when talking about the change in my son, and she suggested that whatever we had done that morning, was WORKING! It was a Monday morning that he had the great success and I explained to her that on Sunday, we didn’t do ANYTHING all day long. Jeremy never even got dressed and we just laid around the house all day long and built a fire in the fireplace, I cooked from sun up to sun down, had delicious aromas floating through the house, and my husband, me and Jeremy just enjoyed being at home, and relaxed like most of us never get to do. We watched a little TV, but just a movie at night, while my husband went to church for all of us. I felt it best to keep Jeremy home since the day before he went to the beach and crabbing with our friend Bruce and his two kids and came home very, very content, but had a scratchy voice, which because he loved the sound of it, he kept talking more and more and more!
Most of our week is scheduled down to the minute. I pick up Jeremy by bike at school at 3 in the afternoon, then we race home and have a snack and get his homework done. Then we ride our bikes to the YMCA and he has swim practice for an hour and I work out. Then we go home and I cook dinner, then we either do more homework or play a family game like dominos and then we do the bed time routine. That can take a while of course, because he always likes to get another snack and prolong it as much as possible!
When Friday comes, we don’t have swim practice, so we do “Fun Friday”, which means visit friends, go to Disney World, or hang out at the park with other families. Saturday is usually swim meet day, and chores, and then Sunday morning we go to Church and Jeremy has religious education. There aren’t many days where we do absolutely nothing and enjoy it.
Truth be told, I worked my tail off that day, cooking and cleaning and keeping the fire lit and doing laundry, but it was all at home and we weren’t on any schedule and I was able to make a beautiful, restful and peaceful home for my family. … the kind I always loved when I was a kid.
Little did I know how hard my parents were working to give me that amazing and so oh so needed rest!!
Having a “down” day was exactly what we all needed to give us that boost that we needed to start the week. When the body is tired, it doesn’t function well, and the better it’s rested, the more productive we can be.
Perhaps all of us now need to take a pause, and to readjust our schedules. Perhaps rather than running all of our side businesses, keeping up with the Jones, running here and there and everywhere to try to get it all done, perhaps we should all just take a rest every week and do nothing. Put on some classical music, light a fire in the fireplace or put on some candles to set the atmosphere, and break out the family games.
The rest and the comfort of doing nothing, will probably give you the extra strength to manage the stress that comes along whether you want it to or not, and will probably be exactly what you and your family needs, during this difficult and down economy.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Having Friends during the Trials…is WAY Better than having Stuff!
At Beyond The Stuff we’ve all made a commitment to take certain days to blog. Yesterday was my day. (www.beyondthestuff.com)
I missed it.
I did try. I sat down and started to write. But all I could come up with was this:
“God help me. God help me. God help me”.
Why? Well, because I live with a son who has been diagnosed on the Autism spectrum. And when we are feeding him 100% organic, no preservatives, limited dairy, glutten, wheat, and he takes all of his 12 vitamins a day and is on NO sugar, and exercises every day, we live a relatively normal life.
When we have Halloween and I cave to his thousands of requests for pop tarts and other sugar infested crap, our life takes a nose dive…. like it did recently.
The stress can get so bad because my son can’t sit for more than a minute at a time. I can’t get him to eat, I can’t get him to get dressed and my beautiful, funny and charming son has his own agenda, and mommy and dad often lose their cool.
Luckily, we understand that ALL parents need breaks, but especially those with challenging situations… and I had off last week, so I gave my husband a few days “off” where he got to stay with my parents to just relax and focus on whatever he wanted to.
Today is a different story. Things have gotten better. The sugar is coming out of his system and the exercise and the low stress/stimulation in our home is working. And most importantly, God did help me. And how did He help me? By sending amazing people my way to support me.. in so many ways. But here is an example of complete amazing support…
“I've been on set the past couple of days but just wanted to send you some strength and positive energy. I can't relate to what you're going through, but I do sense in you a unique resolve to handle even the most challenging circumstances. Sending you my best. Peace”,
“Hi Mary; Sorry you're having a rough time. . I can imagine that it must be very hard for you. (It makes raising my 3 teenage boys seem e-z.) If you want to talk on the phone, please let me know. Hang in there.”
“I'm right there with you, Mary.Here's praying the help continues to come showering down upon you!!!”
“I am sorry that you are having such struggles in your life right now -- butI know that if God is with you, you will overcome whatever life throws at you. "With God nothing is impossible." You and I both know that, but sometimes it takes a lot to really know and trust it. The hard part is applying it to our lives, to put it into action. May I offer one thought? You are not failing at life right now...you are succeeding at standing while the tempest of life swirls around you. Having the ability just to stand, in the midst of the storm, is a very courageous thing to do. And, even more courageous because your child depends on you to do so. Actually, I am moved and impressed at the way you are standing. So,not a failure at all. "Be still and know that I am God," is the requirement of the day.
“Mare, hang in there, you’re doing great things and you’re helping so many of us parents know that there are others out there who understand so thank you”.
“Mary, please feel free to use our mountain house anytime you guys want to get away”
So you can imagine how great I feel today. In addition, my son’s teachers have been extra helpful and understanding with us being late, and with me bringing shoes and socks because he couldn’t put them on without freaking out this morning, and to top it all off, my darling, sweet mom came and cleaned my house yesterday.
These are the things that are important to a person who are dealing with a chronic disability or going through a tough time.
Here are the things that have helped me:
1. Just a kind word that I’m doing the right thing
2. Extra prayer support – and they really do it.. don’t just say it!
3. Words of wisdom and understanding… or just told me to SHARE and VENT.
4. Help with my HOUSE
5. Help with my child- mom did homework with him… WHAT a relief! (And another family offered to take our son for a weekend… which was so generous… and VERY tempting! )
6. Gave my husband and I an opportunity to get away.. as a family or as a couple
7. Bought me lunch – and gave me an opportunity to just get OUT and feel NORMAL.
Were any of these expensive? Nope! They took time, and effort but not a lot of money.. the most was lunch….. and that was about $10 and can I tell you how grateful I was!? Immensely!
So today I sit here thankful, that I have friends and associates who are really, really good human beings. They took a minute out of their day to share their warmth with me and support.. and it has been amazing.
So now, because I’m so grateful, I have ½ hour and I’m going to send notes to people who I know that I can support.. and tell them that I am praying for them.. and that I care for them.
I saw this poem lately that also gave me strength:
Happiness keeps you sweet.
Trials keep you strong.
Sorrows keep you human.
Failures keep you humble.
Success keeps you glowing.
But only God keeps you going!
And God provides us friends! Thank you everyone! You got me through.
I missed it.
I did try. I sat down and started to write. But all I could come up with was this:
“God help me. God help me. God help me”.
Why? Well, because I live with a son who has been diagnosed on the Autism spectrum. And when we are feeding him 100% organic, no preservatives, limited dairy, glutten, wheat, and he takes all of his 12 vitamins a day and is on NO sugar, and exercises every day, we live a relatively normal life.
When we have Halloween and I cave to his thousands of requests for pop tarts and other sugar infested crap, our life takes a nose dive…. like it did recently.
The stress can get so bad because my son can’t sit for more than a minute at a time. I can’t get him to eat, I can’t get him to get dressed and my beautiful, funny and charming son has his own agenda, and mommy and dad often lose their cool.
Luckily, we understand that ALL parents need breaks, but especially those with challenging situations… and I had off last week, so I gave my husband a few days “off” where he got to stay with my parents to just relax and focus on whatever he wanted to.
Today is a different story. Things have gotten better. The sugar is coming out of his system and the exercise and the low stress/stimulation in our home is working. And most importantly, God did help me. And how did He help me? By sending amazing people my way to support me.. in so many ways. But here is an example of complete amazing support…
“I've been on set the past couple of days but just wanted to send you some strength and positive energy. I can't relate to what you're going through, but I do sense in you a unique resolve to handle even the most challenging circumstances. Sending you my best. Peace”,
“Hi Mary; Sorry you're having a rough time. . I can imagine that it must be very hard for you. (It makes raising my 3 teenage boys seem e-z.) If you want to talk on the phone, please let me know. Hang in there.”
“I'm right there with you, Mary.Here's praying the help continues to come showering down upon you!!!”
“I am sorry that you are having such struggles in your life right now -- butI know that if God is with you, you will overcome whatever life throws at you. "With God nothing is impossible." You and I both know that, but sometimes it takes a lot to really know and trust it. The hard part is applying it to our lives, to put it into action. May I offer one thought? You are not failing at life right now...you are succeeding at standing while the tempest of life swirls around you. Having the ability just to stand, in the midst of the storm, is a very courageous thing to do. And, even more courageous because your child depends on you to do so. Actually, I am moved and impressed at the way you are standing. So,not a failure at all. "Be still and know that I am God," is the requirement of the day.
“Mare, hang in there, you’re doing great things and you’re helping so many of us parents know that there are others out there who understand so thank you”.
“Mary, please feel free to use our mountain house anytime you guys want to get away”
So you can imagine how great I feel today. In addition, my son’s teachers have been extra helpful and understanding with us being late, and with me bringing shoes and socks because he couldn’t put them on without freaking out this morning, and to top it all off, my darling, sweet mom came and cleaned my house yesterday.
These are the things that are important to a person who are dealing with a chronic disability or going through a tough time.
Here are the things that have helped me:
1. Just a kind word that I’m doing the right thing
2. Extra prayer support – and they really do it.. don’t just say it!
3. Words of wisdom and understanding… or just told me to SHARE and VENT.
4. Help with my HOUSE
5. Help with my child- mom did homework with him… WHAT a relief! (And another family offered to take our son for a weekend… which was so generous… and VERY tempting! )
6. Gave my husband and I an opportunity to get away.. as a family or as a couple
7. Bought me lunch – and gave me an opportunity to just get OUT and feel NORMAL.
Were any of these expensive? Nope! They took time, and effort but not a lot of money.. the most was lunch….. and that was about $10 and can I tell you how grateful I was!? Immensely!
So today I sit here thankful, that I have friends and associates who are really, really good human beings. They took a minute out of their day to share their warmth with me and support.. and it has been amazing.
So now, because I’m so grateful, I have ½ hour and I’m going to send notes to people who I know that I can support.. and tell them that I am praying for them.. and that I care for them.
I saw this poem lately that also gave me strength:
Happiness keeps you sweet.
Trials keep you strong.
Sorrows keep you human.
Failures keep you humble.
Success keeps you glowing.
But only God keeps you going!
And God provides us friends! Thank you everyone! You got me through.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Social Skills 101 for Elementary Schools
Social Skills 101
I. Introduction – What makes an interesting and dynamic and polite person?
II. The Introduction
A. My name is…..
B. It’s nice to meet you (NAME)
1. Show enthusiasm!
2. Look in their eyes when you say their name
C. Response- “it’s nice to meet you too (NAME)!
1. Show enthusiasm!
2. Look in their eyes when you respond.
III. The Handshake
A. Nice firm handshake
B. No squeezing – NOT NICE
C. NO wimpy hands either!
IV. Listening Skills
A. Ask questions of others and show interest!
B. Make sure if you’re talking – that you share the conversation like cutting a pie!
V. Be Sure that Everyone in the Group has someone to talk to
A. Don’t leave anyone out!
B. Be kind to all people- remember: “Everyone is Different”
C. Be a good friend to others and you will have good friends!
I. Introduction – What makes an interesting and dynamic and polite person?
II. The Introduction
A. My name is…..
B. It’s nice to meet you (NAME)
1. Show enthusiasm!
2. Look in their eyes when you say their name
C. Response- “it’s nice to meet you too (NAME)!
1. Show enthusiasm!
2. Look in their eyes when you respond.
III. The Handshake
A. Nice firm handshake
B. No squeezing – NOT NICE
C. NO wimpy hands either!
IV. Listening Skills
A. Ask questions of others and show interest!
B. Make sure if you’re talking – that you share the conversation like cutting a pie!
V. Be Sure that Everyone in the Group has someone to talk to
A. Don’t leave anyone out!
B. Be kind to all people- remember: “Everyone is Different”
C. Be a good friend to others and you will have good friends!
Thursday, November 06, 2008
There is Life Without the Blackberry
I was in shock!!!
It changed my life!
I couldn’t believe it but then decided that it was just the way it was supposed to be from about a minute after I discovered it.
I walked in the bathroom to find my blackberry in the sink. Okay, not really. It was in the toilet! It fell out of my jeans when I sat down I guess!
How appropriate. I bet my husband was praying that’s where it would end up!
It was one day after I had called AT&T to get a new blackberry which was still under warranty and a new one was on the way. Only now, I couldn’t send the old one back, because now it had water damage.
What was I going to do? It was my life and connection to the outside world! I lived by email, texting and calling. And now?
Let me share!
I’ve been cooking!!! I’ve made beef stew and served 3 meals including lunch for my parents and dinner and lunch for my husband and me.
I made manicotti, which I served last night and have 2 more meals frozen.
I made a pork, pineapple, green pepper with brown sweet gravy which is delicious and will be served over rice tonight.
I made mini mushroom sandwiches which were browned in butter and brown sauce with provolone cheese!
What else? I’ve been cleaning!
I cleaned out and washed and got out my winter clothes which we only wear for about a month here in Florida… but I’m ready!
I’ve been making fires in the fireplace!
My son and I have had a blast using our fireplace for the first time in 2 years and figuring out what burns best and finding paper in the house that will start the logs on fire.
I’m learning how to use my camera!
I’ve been reading up on my new camera and learning how to post pictures and videos from it. Sounds easy but I just haven’t taken the time.. was probably too busy texting!
I’ve also been reading!
I read LEFT TO TELL, about the Rwandan woman who survived the Holocaust and have been reading cookbooks for recipes. I also have 2 other books lined up.
I even went to the library to get the books!
What I have in my head now is stuff like “how can I make my yard nicer” and “what can I make to eat for my family when I’m out of town starting tomorrow” I’m also thinking about clients and writing and my TV project/show.
I can’t say I don’t miss my blackberry and having the ability to be in silly conversations with friends who also are addicted to their blackberries, but I can say that I am getting a lot more done, and I do feel like I’m learning something different now, about a love for cooking that I had no idea was there! It just feels so good to me to actually create something that people enjoy and that I can create an atmosphere of a home where people can relax and enjoy some good food and wine!
I’m learning that without some of the stuff that I was doing before like relying on my blackberry for the connection to friends, that now I can focus more on my home to create a warm and loving home environment for my family. I thought I was doing that before, but now, I know I’m doing it!
It changed my life!
I couldn’t believe it but then decided that it was just the way it was supposed to be from about a minute after I discovered it.
I walked in the bathroom to find my blackberry in the sink. Okay, not really. It was in the toilet! It fell out of my jeans when I sat down I guess!
How appropriate. I bet my husband was praying that’s where it would end up!
It was one day after I had called AT&T to get a new blackberry which was still under warranty and a new one was on the way. Only now, I couldn’t send the old one back, because now it had water damage.
What was I going to do? It was my life and connection to the outside world! I lived by email, texting and calling. And now?
Let me share!
I’ve been cooking!!! I’ve made beef stew and served 3 meals including lunch for my parents and dinner and lunch for my husband and me.
I made manicotti, which I served last night and have 2 more meals frozen.
I made a pork, pineapple, green pepper with brown sweet gravy which is delicious and will be served over rice tonight.
I made mini mushroom sandwiches which were browned in butter and brown sauce with provolone cheese!
What else? I’ve been cleaning!
I cleaned out and washed and got out my winter clothes which we only wear for about a month here in Florida… but I’m ready!
I’ve been making fires in the fireplace!
My son and I have had a blast using our fireplace for the first time in 2 years and figuring out what burns best and finding paper in the house that will start the logs on fire.
I’m learning how to use my camera!
I’ve been reading up on my new camera and learning how to post pictures and videos from it. Sounds easy but I just haven’t taken the time.. was probably too busy texting!
I’ve also been reading!
I read LEFT TO TELL, about the Rwandan woman who survived the Holocaust and have been reading cookbooks for recipes. I also have 2 other books lined up.
I even went to the library to get the books!
What I have in my head now is stuff like “how can I make my yard nicer” and “what can I make to eat for my family when I’m out of town starting tomorrow” I’m also thinking about clients and writing and my TV project/show.
I can’t say I don’t miss my blackberry and having the ability to be in silly conversations with friends who also are addicted to their blackberries, but I can say that I am getting a lot more done, and I do feel like I’m learning something different now, about a love for cooking that I had no idea was there! It just feels so good to me to actually create something that people enjoy and that I can create an atmosphere of a home where people can relax and enjoy some good food and wine!
I’m learning that without some of the stuff that I was doing before like relying on my blackberry for the connection to friends, that now I can focus more on my home to create a warm and loving home environment for my family. I thought I was doing that before, but now, I know I’m doing it!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Help! My Sales are Slumping and I don't Know Why!
Have you ever taken a look around your company and wondered what in the heck the other people were doing to bring in so much business to the company? You may feel that you’re on equal ground with the other sales person or people, but for some reason they are way ahead of you in the numbers in sales. What is it? Do they drink a magic potion every morning? Do they have a better territory or do they just have better customers?
Here are some questions to ask yourself to see where the gap is:
Are you a master at your craft? Consider the length of time that you’ve been with the company. Do you know everything that you can about your product and your service? How are your relationships with those within the company? Are there people who can do you favors, even for your clients, that you should get to know better? What about your competition? Do you know them inside and out? Do you know their weaknesses and their strengths? Do you know how to get a sell away from them in a tactful manner by emphasizing your strengths where they are weak?
What time of day do you get in the office versus your co-workers? Are you wondering in the office at 8:30 or 9am and settling in to have your coffee? Are they at the office at 7:30 and getting coffee and catching up on the news an hour before you even get into the office? Are they on the phones already when you’re just getting ready to look at the paper? Consider getting in earlier or planning your day the night before so you can get into the office and start communicating with your clients the second you get to the office.
How much is email taking you away from your work? Are you spending part of your day reading jokes, and watching YOU TUBE videos that are entertaining, but are keeping you away from your work? Did you know that even if you DON”T read your emails, just having to delete them is taking valuable time away from your work and making a profit for your company? Consider putting everything in the JUNK file that doesn’t pertain to business and put a sign on your desk that you’ll only check email 1x an hour or late in the day. See if this addiction that has hit most people in America can free up some of your time.
Have you had instability in your life this past year? Have you had major stress or changes in your life? Has anyone closed to you died? Have you changed jobs? Have you moved? Have you gone through a major life transition like a divorce or become and empty nester? Has anyone close to you been relying on you emotionally and you feel drained? Sometimes, our emotions can be dragging us down and we don’t even know it. If this happens to be you, consider getting in a therapy group or counseling, or finding a support group to help you process these changes and the emotions that follow. You can be doing everything you’re supposed to be doing in business, but the sadness you feel might be leaking through your attitude. Get support where you need it. None of us is an island and no one expects anyone to go through tramatic times completely alone.
How is your attitude? Are you depressed that your sales are sagging and you get down about that? Are you angry about something at work or do you have problem clients that you’re trying to avoid? How is your relationship with your boss and those in the office? Your attitude may be negative if you’re going through a slump and it’s going to take dramatic measures to get your attitude back in a place that is positive and care free. Consider listening to motivational tapes every morning on the way to work , in your car or when you get up in the morning. If you’ve got the news on, you’re probably getting more negative messages than you are getting positive messages, so you need to take control. This tiny step can change your sales figures literally overnight. For a great resource go to: www.nightengaleconnent.com
Are you a gabber or a closer? How much time are you spending socializing and reading or doing busy work versus spending time with your top customers or reading about sales or learning about your product? Start putting a clock by your desk to monitor your phone conversations and evaluate where your spending your time throughout the day. If you’re socializing more than your making calls to customers or working, then it’s time to alter some of your habits. If you need to connect with others emotionally, schedule 15 minutes a day to make your personal calls and keep them short and sweet. Time management is one huge area to be constantly on top of for long term success.
What are you listening to? What are you reading? If you spent 1 hour a day listening to a motivational tape or reading a book to enhance your learning, in one year, you’d probably triple your income by learning success secrets of the superstars. Go to the library and check out books and tapes. Turn off the radio and TV and start educating yourself every day. Trade great books with others, and keep a book with you at all times so when you find yourself standing in line or waiting for someone, then you can use the time wisely. You can become an expert in your field and 5 others in one years time!
Are you getting enough sleep? Often times we might get into bed in plenty of time to get a good nights sleep, but spending time with Jay Leno is often more enticing than turning off the lights. Eating well, exercising and sleeping enough are basic self care items but if one of these is unbalanced, then your body isn’t going to have the energy to keep it going when things get slow. The body will slow down and stop and then it takes 2x as much effort to get it going. Make sure you get at least 7-9 hours of sleep, drink plenty of water, take your vitamins and exercise at least 3 days a week.
I’m Unorganized but I know where everything is. Organized Chaos? That’s just an excuse for those of us who don’t have great organizational skills. And when you’re not organized, you spend precious time looking for things and trying to GET organized. What you need is a good system. So sit down with someone who can help you get a system in place, and then do your best to implement it and use it every week. Some sales people have an administrative person come in weekly to file, or to throw away things that aren’t useful any more. But they keep on top of things and it helps them throughout the week. This precious time saver can not only save time, but loads of frustration.
Are you in the wrong field? . Is there a chance that you stand on the sidelines longing to do something different and feeling jealous that you’re in the wrong field? If this is you, no matter how organized you get, you might never have the heart, soul and passion for your job. This might take some time for you to discover your true passion, but it can be done in mini steps by talking with others in other professions or at other companies, going to the bookstore to see what subjects intrigue you, and by searching the internet for other careers and jobs that might suit your personality better. Try things out first.. read about them, and study about them and then talk to people who are doing them. Perhaps you might have to take a salary cut to start a new career, but in the long run, you’ll be happier with doing what you truly WANT to do, rather than just working to bring home a pay check.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to see where the gap is:
Are you a master at your craft? Consider the length of time that you’ve been with the company. Do you know everything that you can about your product and your service? How are your relationships with those within the company? Are there people who can do you favors, even for your clients, that you should get to know better? What about your competition? Do you know them inside and out? Do you know their weaknesses and their strengths? Do you know how to get a sell away from them in a tactful manner by emphasizing your strengths where they are weak?
What time of day do you get in the office versus your co-workers? Are you wondering in the office at 8:30 or 9am and settling in to have your coffee? Are they at the office at 7:30 and getting coffee and catching up on the news an hour before you even get into the office? Are they on the phones already when you’re just getting ready to look at the paper? Consider getting in earlier or planning your day the night before so you can get into the office and start communicating with your clients the second you get to the office.
How much is email taking you away from your work? Are you spending part of your day reading jokes, and watching YOU TUBE videos that are entertaining, but are keeping you away from your work? Did you know that even if you DON”T read your emails, just having to delete them is taking valuable time away from your work and making a profit for your company? Consider putting everything in the JUNK file that doesn’t pertain to business and put a sign on your desk that you’ll only check email 1x an hour or late in the day. See if this addiction that has hit most people in America can free up some of your time.
Have you had instability in your life this past year? Have you had major stress or changes in your life? Has anyone closed to you died? Have you changed jobs? Have you moved? Have you gone through a major life transition like a divorce or become and empty nester? Has anyone close to you been relying on you emotionally and you feel drained? Sometimes, our emotions can be dragging us down and we don’t even know it. If this happens to be you, consider getting in a therapy group or counseling, or finding a support group to help you process these changes and the emotions that follow. You can be doing everything you’re supposed to be doing in business, but the sadness you feel might be leaking through your attitude. Get support where you need it. None of us is an island and no one expects anyone to go through tramatic times completely alone.
How is your attitude? Are you depressed that your sales are sagging and you get down about that? Are you angry about something at work or do you have problem clients that you’re trying to avoid? How is your relationship with your boss and those in the office? Your attitude may be negative if you’re going through a slump and it’s going to take dramatic measures to get your attitude back in a place that is positive and care free. Consider listening to motivational tapes every morning on the way to work , in your car or when you get up in the morning. If you’ve got the news on, you’re probably getting more negative messages than you are getting positive messages, so you need to take control. This tiny step can change your sales figures literally overnight. For a great resource go to: www.nightengaleconnent.com
Are you a gabber or a closer? How much time are you spending socializing and reading or doing busy work versus spending time with your top customers or reading about sales or learning about your product? Start putting a clock by your desk to monitor your phone conversations and evaluate where your spending your time throughout the day. If you’re socializing more than your making calls to customers or working, then it’s time to alter some of your habits. If you need to connect with others emotionally, schedule 15 minutes a day to make your personal calls and keep them short and sweet. Time management is one huge area to be constantly on top of for long term success.
What are you listening to? What are you reading? If you spent 1 hour a day listening to a motivational tape or reading a book to enhance your learning, in one year, you’d probably triple your income by learning success secrets of the superstars. Go to the library and check out books and tapes. Turn off the radio and TV and start educating yourself every day. Trade great books with others, and keep a book with you at all times so when you find yourself standing in line or waiting for someone, then you can use the time wisely. You can become an expert in your field and 5 others in one years time!
Are you getting enough sleep? Often times we might get into bed in plenty of time to get a good nights sleep, but spending time with Jay Leno is often more enticing than turning off the lights. Eating well, exercising and sleeping enough are basic self care items but if one of these is unbalanced, then your body isn’t going to have the energy to keep it going when things get slow. The body will slow down and stop and then it takes 2x as much effort to get it going. Make sure you get at least 7-9 hours of sleep, drink plenty of water, take your vitamins and exercise at least 3 days a week.
I’m Unorganized but I know where everything is. Organized Chaos? That’s just an excuse for those of us who don’t have great organizational skills. And when you’re not organized, you spend precious time looking for things and trying to GET organized. What you need is a good system. So sit down with someone who can help you get a system in place, and then do your best to implement it and use it every week. Some sales people have an administrative person come in weekly to file, or to throw away things that aren’t useful any more. But they keep on top of things and it helps them throughout the week. This precious time saver can not only save time, but loads of frustration.
Are you in the wrong field? . Is there a chance that you stand on the sidelines longing to do something different and feeling jealous that you’re in the wrong field? If this is you, no matter how organized you get, you might never have the heart, soul and passion for your job. This might take some time for you to discover your true passion, but it can be done in mini steps by talking with others in other professions or at other companies, going to the bookstore to see what subjects intrigue you, and by searching the internet for other careers and jobs that might suit your personality better. Try things out first.. read about them, and study about them and then talk to people who are doing them. Perhaps you might have to take a salary cut to start a new career, but in the long run, you’ll be happier with doing what you truly WANT to do, rather than just working to bring home a pay check.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Losing Friends may Happen when Raising a Child with Sensory Processing Disorder
My child got diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder when he was 5 years old. Before that time, doctors told me that he’d grow out of his screaming and crying when I tried to dress him and that he was just a picky kid who was slow to move and to listen. Five years ago, doctors weren’t as familiar with the signs of Sensory issues, or the Autistic Spectrum, and they just classified my hyper son as ADHD.
Over the years, I’ve learned so many things that work for my son. We keep the house low on stimulation, with little TV, music or computers. I know that he takes time to transition so we make sure he wakes up really early every day, which means he has to get to bed early every night. Because he takes ADHD medication to get through school, he often can’t sleep at night so in addition to our night time prayers, he gets a melatonin to help him sleep. I know that if he doesn’t sleep well, that morning will be a disaster.
I also know that Jeremy needs a lot of activity which means that sports are a priority in our house. I have spoken to the teachers and explained that while he has inattention, that ADHD is not the core to his issues, it’s an underdeveloped system that is still building. It’s the body, not the brain that is the issue. Additionally, he has auditory processing disorder so we’re aware that he has to be told things a number of time and we have to get his attention first before talking.
All of this awareness took trial and error and thankfully, because we changed his diet, his defiance is mostly gone. That happened in a few short weeks, by getting the preservatives out, high fructose corn syrup out, and the vitamins into his system. We stopped doing white bread and gave him healthy alternatives. The difference in his behavior was and is remarkable. He can now eat a bunch of candy or chips and he’s off the wall within 15 minutes.
Imagine the complaining that we get from an 8 year old who wants to get high on candy like his peers. We have to set limits and we discuss it thoroughly. We let him have candy or sugar if there is nothing planned but outdoor activity. Otherwise, we tell him that he will have to live with his behavior and if he can’t control himself and if and when he goes a bit nuts while having a sugar high, which can be hyper or annoyed and whiney or uncomfortable somehow. The result is never fun.
Imagine a child though who has mostly gotten through a lot of these issues. At age 8, he’s able to mostly determine how to conduct himself and when he doesn’t, his mom is right there making sure he apologizes to the kids or to the parents or whomever. He is on ADHD medicine which helps his impulsivity and constant talking but there are days when he still has to apologize. But, he doesn’t keep repeating these things over and over. He finally gets the message usually by us taking away play dates. He changes his behavior immediately when he knows he’ll lose privileges.
So I guess I understand when I kept hearing our best friends slip when they were talking about the evenings their families got together and noticeably we weren’t invited. Over and over it happened this summer and my husband and I explained it away that they’re all on the same baseball team or all go to the same school. But then, last weekend at the Cub Scout campout, I realized how mean their boys were to Jeremy! Jeremy told me that they told him they didn’t want to play with him. They didn’t give a reason, they just told him to go away.
When we got home, I tried to put together a Halloween party for us all and mentioned that perhaps my friends could mention this to their sons and that whatever I needed to do to get Jeremy in line, I’d do. Their answer? “We need to talk”.
At first I told them I’d talk, and I shared with them by email that I’m sure that Jeremy was hurt, because I was hurt that they had stopped socializing with us, and that shouldn’t we learn how to deal with our differences? And regardless, no one should be mean in spite of our challenges. If it were me, I’d go right to the parent and tell him or her that their child was saying inappropriate things, or I’d go right to the child and share with them that saying hurtful things aren’t going to win friends and then demonstrate another way of doing it. I would have shared with them to come to me if Jeremy was saying anything or doing anything that wasn’t nice as well.
But, nope, my friends have chosen to not socialize with us unless they have to, and because of that, I’m now reevaluating whether I want to talk it through or even hang with them at all. After all it was them who heard me share my frustration of trying to figure my child out, and they knew how difficult my daily life was and were there as things got better and better. And I never dreamed that they’d decide that they’d stop seeing us because of it and can’t imagine that they think this was the right thing to do. And perhaps if they would have talked with me first, then I would have been a bit more open to hearing about how frustrating it was from their end.
Instead, my husband and I have discussed that some people just cut others off without saying anything about it, even if they’re your so called best friends. They don’t know what it’s like to raise a child with a disability and they would rather not deal with it. And even though I’ve told them I’ll talk with them about it, I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut and I don’t even want to be around them right now. Perhaps in time, I’ll understand that they didn’t know how to discuss this with me in the first place and that they may feel that the kids need to get older before they should play together. But I’ll never understand why a person would not apologize for their child being rude or mean. It’s just a different way of handling things I guess.
We all grow in compassion when we go through trials and challenges and make it out on the other side. Perhaps I have had to lose our best friends temporarily so I can be of service to another family who will go through the same thing. It’s not fun, but perhaps its part of life when you’re dealing with a child who is a bit out of the box.
I found this quote that I thought was a great line:
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."~ Walter Winchell
And it made me realize, perhaps they weren’t really friends who would be there through thick and thin. That was the most hurtful thing of all that I thought they were real friends and instead they were just friends out of convenience not commitment.
Over the years, I’ve learned so many things that work for my son. We keep the house low on stimulation, with little TV, music or computers. I know that he takes time to transition so we make sure he wakes up really early every day, which means he has to get to bed early every night. Because he takes ADHD medication to get through school, he often can’t sleep at night so in addition to our night time prayers, he gets a melatonin to help him sleep. I know that if he doesn’t sleep well, that morning will be a disaster.
I also know that Jeremy needs a lot of activity which means that sports are a priority in our house. I have spoken to the teachers and explained that while he has inattention, that ADHD is not the core to his issues, it’s an underdeveloped system that is still building. It’s the body, not the brain that is the issue. Additionally, he has auditory processing disorder so we’re aware that he has to be told things a number of time and we have to get his attention first before talking.
All of this awareness took trial and error and thankfully, because we changed his diet, his defiance is mostly gone. That happened in a few short weeks, by getting the preservatives out, high fructose corn syrup out, and the vitamins into his system. We stopped doing white bread and gave him healthy alternatives. The difference in his behavior was and is remarkable. He can now eat a bunch of candy or chips and he’s off the wall within 15 minutes.
Imagine the complaining that we get from an 8 year old who wants to get high on candy like his peers. We have to set limits and we discuss it thoroughly. We let him have candy or sugar if there is nothing planned but outdoor activity. Otherwise, we tell him that he will have to live with his behavior and if he can’t control himself and if and when he goes a bit nuts while having a sugar high, which can be hyper or annoyed and whiney or uncomfortable somehow. The result is never fun.
Imagine a child though who has mostly gotten through a lot of these issues. At age 8, he’s able to mostly determine how to conduct himself and when he doesn’t, his mom is right there making sure he apologizes to the kids or to the parents or whomever. He is on ADHD medicine which helps his impulsivity and constant talking but there are days when he still has to apologize. But, he doesn’t keep repeating these things over and over. He finally gets the message usually by us taking away play dates. He changes his behavior immediately when he knows he’ll lose privileges.
So I guess I understand when I kept hearing our best friends slip when they were talking about the evenings their families got together and noticeably we weren’t invited. Over and over it happened this summer and my husband and I explained it away that they’re all on the same baseball team or all go to the same school. But then, last weekend at the Cub Scout campout, I realized how mean their boys were to Jeremy! Jeremy told me that they told him they didn’t want to play with him. They didn’t give a reason, they just told him to go away.
When we got home, I tried to put together a Halloween party for us all and mentioned that perhaps my friends could mention this to their sons and that whatever I needed to do to get Jeremy in line, I’d do. Their answer? “We need to talk”.
At first I told them I’d talk, and I shared with them by email that I’m sure that Jeremy was hurt, because I was hurt that they had stopped socializing with us, and that shouldn’t we learn how to deal with our differences? And regardless, no one should be mean in spite of our challenges. If it were me, I’d go right to the parent and tell him or her that their child was saying inappropriate things, or I’d go right to the child and share with them that saying hurtful things aren’t going to win friends and then demonstrate another way of doing it. I would have shared with them to come to me if Jeremy was saying anything or doing anything that wasn’t nice as well.
But, nope, my friends have chosen to not socialize with us unless they have to, and because of that, I’m now reevaluating whether I want to talk it through or even hang with them at all. After all it was them who heard me share my frustration of trying to figure my child out, and they knew how difficult my daily life was and were there as things got better and better. And I never dreamed that they’d decide that they’d stop seeing us because of it and can’t imagine that they think this was the right thing to do. And perhaps if they would have talked with me first, then I would have been a bit more open to hearing about how frustrating it was from their end.
Instead, my husband and I have discussed that some people just cut others off without saying anything about it, even if they’re your so called best friends. They don’t know what it’s like to raise a child with a disability and they would rather not deal with it. And even though I’ve told them I’ll talk with them about it, I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut and I don’t even want to be around them right now. Perhaps in time, I’ll understand that they didn’t know how to discuss this with me in the first place and that they may feel that the kids need to get older before they should play together. But I’ll never understand why a person would not apologize for their child being rude or mean. It’s just a different way of handling things I guess.
We all grow in compassion when we go through trials and challenges and make it out on the other side. Perhaps I have had to lose our best friends temporarily so I can be of service to another family who will go through the same thing. It’s not fun, but perhaps its part of life when you’re dealing with a child who is a bit out of the box.
I found this quote that I thought was a great line:
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."~ Walter Winchell
And it made me realize, perhaps they weren’t really friends who would be there through thick and thin. That was the most hurtful thing of all that I thought they were real friends and instead they were just friends out of convenience not commitment.
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