Why We Love Sarah Palin!

We seem to be living in an exciting time! On the one hand, many families are feeling the economic crunch, struggling to meet the bills, and stressed over not having enough at the end of each month. It’s now hitting middle America and many of the people who have never had to struggle financially before are now watching their budgets.

On the other hand, we have a political race that is causing coffee talk even with the most non political among us. People seem to now know which side of the fence they walk after viewing both of the political conventions.

All of the candidates have many wonderful qualities and stand for important issues. Each one of them has had many trials and triumphs and have led well in their given environments. From Obama’s miraculous rise to fame almost overnight and running an amazingly successful campaign to the long standing political stable, Joe Biden who beat brain cancer, to John McCain and the inner strength to defend America as a very young man and to survive the torture he endured makes us all want to be better people. They’re all individually inspiring!

But to see our newest rock star, Sarah Palin take the stage before all of America that night, when she looked right in the camera and right into my eyes, and told us parents who have special needs children that she’ll be a friend and an ADVOCATE in the WHITE HOUSE for us? I was sold!

My political background was determined by the first job I got on Capital Hill. I had to decide whether I was a Republican or a Democrat and because my family was split right down the middle, I could have gone either way. But I ended up getting a great job on the Subcommittee of Criminal Law on the Judiciary Committee and working for Republican Senator Paul Laxalt from Nevada. I loved the entertainment factor of working on Capital Hill and meeting all of the celebrities and seeing them fight passionately for causes. I didn’t love the policy work or the creating of laws. I loved the people doing these wonderful things! It’s no wonder I got out of designing policy and got in the promotion field of Celebrities and Causes.

Even a few months ago I was on the fence. I love Hillary Clinton, and I like Obama! I see the crisis in America and I understand why people want change. I also knew John McCain was a war hero. And as a proud American living in NYC on the dreadful day of 9/11, I knew how important the military is and how we need to continue the fight to keep our country safe.

But everything and I mean EVERYTHING changed for me the second Sarah Palin was nominated. It was if something inside of me shifted. Here she is, a young and attractive and in shape young mom of young kids, is running a state effectively, standing up to the big boys and winning!!! For each one of those accomplishments I look at her in awe. I’ve gone up against the good ol’ boy network, and even though I consider myself a strong woman, I wasn’t able to win and I opted to go another direction. But not Sarah! She took it like a pro and I love it that she continues to share that story to inspire all of us to fight for positive change like she did.

Then look at her! She’s gorgeous!!! And she’s not trying to use her beauty to get anywhere, but behind those glasses and her hair that she wears up, is a very attractive woman. Think about the hours she’s had to work at it based on having all of those kids. Yes, then there’s the kids. She’s got five of them. And to hear that she delivered a baby the day after giving a speech and had to fly home? I almost ran to the computer to start a fan club!!

She’s got a successful and cute husband who she calls “my guy” and a daughter who opted not to get an abortion when she probably could have. She admits the family is a normal family and yet, when they held that darling baby up and he’s a Downs baby? It was the thing that gave me the deep compassion for Sarah as a woman. I know the struggles of facing an unhealthy pregnancy and it’s a very emotionally difficult time to know that your child might suffer through life. Yet, Sarah worked all the way through her pregnancy and now has a beautiful child to share with the world.

All of those things together have touched me deeply. I’m inspired when I look at her and think about how mentally tough she has had to be, by enduring against all of the obstacles she’s had in her life. She gracefully dealt with the crisis of alerting the world about her 17 year old daughters unplanned pregnancy without crying and being dramatic or apologetic. Because of Sarah’s example, I want to quit complaining about getting up early to work out, having to cook home made everything because we have a special diet in our home, and also having to deal with the struggles we’ve had with having a special needs child on the Autistic Spectrum. I know I am not alone when struggling to stay awake to finish my work and know I will be up again in 5 short hours. I now know I can get mentally tougher and survive. I know that I can, because I see someone who has.

Sarah Palin is a woman who is doing it all. She speaks to me as a woman, as a business professional, as a mother, as a wife, as an athlete and as a advocate of special needs children.

Our country needed a Sarah Palin. She’s a bright star in our world that can inspire all of us to greater heights and to achieve things we never thought possible.

We need Sarah Palin to help lead our country. And now Sarah Palin needs us!


Hi Mary: I just read a few of your recent blogs. I love your honesty and openness! We often hear how a few people are like their public image but many have a public persona completely different from reality. What you see in Mary is what you get! I think that openness makes one more drawn to you as you honestly say what is on your mind even if it makes one upset and you discuss personal stuff about your life as it unfolds. Have a good night and maybe get 6 hrs of sleep instead of 5 hrs. :) Bruce

Hello and good evening.
I just read and enjoyed your article on Sarah Palin which I found on ezinearticles.com .
We are going to release an self-published mini-book on Sarah Palin with a collection of articles with different views on her. These will be articles written by many different writers with a wide range of views on her.
I would like to ask for you authorization to include you article in this collection.
In exchange I would include the part about you and your website links.
Could you please let me know if you agree.
Thank you in advance for letting me know as soon as possible.
Best regards,
Monica Kraenzle

Great blog on Sarah P!! Some of your best writing....-- Tim Van AntwerpOrlando FL

Hey Mary, I am sure you have gotten some really hateful responses to your article about Sarah Palin. I know that my excitement about her has not been well received in certain circles. I want to say "ditto" to your comments and then some. Sarah Palin has also encouraged me to get up and get going. Just knowing her story and that she exists in this world has inspired me to be better at all I do. Thanks for your words. Val Clemente

The Inspirational Slow Swimmer

This was written last year but never submitted-

Every once in a while a person captures your attention that is out of the ordinary. Perhaps you see someone treating someone exceptionally well, or a mommy happily playing with her baby or a person who struggles for every step. Occasionally, those moments can make you send up a silent prayer of thanks, give you a chuckle, or even make you stand there in amazement at what you just witnessed.

I’ve had a few experiences like that on the road on my trip. Today I was in the airport and spotted a bellman energetically walk up to a lady in a wheel chair. He was a tall, thin, African American man about 30+, and she was an elderly Caucasian woman probably over 80. The way he talked with her was as if the wheel chair was just an accessory and he hardly noticed. He said, “Hey! How are you today?” And that is when I started watching. He truly treated her with tons of respect and love. He didn’t know her apparently but he treated her so nice I was compelled to mention the guy to the man checking my ID and boarding pass. I was just amazed that he would treat her so well.
I was somewhat overcome with gratitude that there are such caring people in the world.

Another incredibly impressive person was a swimmer swimming in the lap pool during open swim in Indianapolis. No one was in his lane but him. He took forever to get across the pool because his arms were contorted in a way that didn’t allow his left arm to get up much beyond his stomach and his right arm wasn’t much better. He obviously had M.S or something. The thing that impressed me over and over was that he never stopped! I mean that as much of a struggle that it took to get across the pool every single lap, he never once stopped at the wall to take a breather. He kept GOING and GOING and GOING and GOING! He was like the energizer bunny!

I wanted to stop to talk with him, to ask him how he did it. He never stopped but what I wanted to know is what does he think about? Does he focus on what he can’t do? Or is he pushing himself to accomplish things that no one would expect? What motivates him? How did he get so much determination in his soul? Why wouldn’t he just take a break? He was working so hard!

I asked the life guard about him. I fantasized about making a movie around the swimming pool of a guy who struggles for every stroke and every breath, yet he continues to swim. The motivation was a dream from long ago fired by support from his mom that he had talent and should never, ever quit; even if his talent didn’t look like the normal swimmer in the water.

The lifeguard didn’t know much about him other than the fact that he swam there all the time. The other thing that the lifeguard told me was that the man could walk completely normally. And he happened to walk out while I was doing my own laps, so I never got to speak with him.
It is my belief that we come into contact with people for a purpose. Sometimes it’s to listen to us, sometimes to challenge us and sometimes to inspire us. If we spend some time looking at who comes into our path every day, we’ll be more aware of the many lessons that life can teach us. If we happen to pay attention, even to the ones who might get in our way, because they might be the ones that might inspire us the most!

Learning About Social Media

I consider myself incredibly fortunate. I have a column in the Orlando Business Journal. It’s been going on for about a year and it runs between 1-3 times a month depending upon how much space they have and how many columns of mine they like. I’ve submitted numerous columns that they didn’t accept and never told me why. So, I keep sending new articles and am always excited when I open the first page to the table of contents and see my column called GET CONNECTED.

In the beginning I wrote about futuristic stuff and then it became a lot of my communication coaching and then they asked me to write about Social Media and technology. So, that is now my assignment. I’m excited about it because it forces me to learn about the new Social mediums which I would probably never do if I didn’t really have to. But I’ve found that I really enjoy exploring on the computer and seeing who is doing what and how they’re using the many social networking tools.

Today I’m researching TWITTER. It’s a way for all of your “connected” friends to follow your every move. I think I’m really going to enjoy it, since I have grown addicted to my blackberry just like nearly every other person. So far, I have 4 people following me, although I’m not sure really how to follow others yet, and I haven’t been able to locate my account even though I’ve searched for it, so I’m not sure how others are going to find me. Still, I’ll plug away at it for a few minutes here and a few minutes there until I can write coherently about the subject.

As I research, I find more and more topics that I want to explore and so I feel like I’m discovering a new frontier. It’s very exciting, especially since most people in my age bracket aren’t playing around with these tools like people who are in their 20s and early 30s. So, in a sense, I feel that I’m keeping trendy and edgy by learning these networking avenues and I’m able to pass along this information to my coaching clients. For that I am grateful.

It’s a bit time consuming, and each time I dig into one new tool it brings me to new programs called applications which leads me down a whole new path. In order to “decorate” my pages with the subjects that are of interest to me then I have to read a bit about what they’re promoting in order to see if I “connect” with their message.

I’ll document my learning, or my absence of learning, and I’ll continue to update my Facebook and my Twitter accounts as I grow comfortable and get in the habit of relying on them as a networking and entertainment and learning source.

I hope you’ll take the journey with me and add these tools to your own sales and marketing plan. Make sure you invite me to be your friend!!! And you can become mine!

Have you Written Your Book?

How many times have you thought about writing a book? Or how many times have people suggested to you, “wow.. you know so much about that subject, have you ever considered writing a book”?
According to Publishers Weekly, about 3000 books are published every day. This is a combination of e-books, international books, and the good along with the bad. There is certainly an information overload, and you may ask yourself, “does the world really need another book on the subject?”
My answer is YES! Think about all of the time you devoted to learning all of the information that you have accumulated! Consider the years in school, then with clients and the many hours of mistakes you probably made getting to the point that you were a genius in the subject matter! Think about all of your own “techniques” that could possibly save another person time and money!
What would you do with your book? Consider selling it on the internet? Consider self publishing and using it as a calling card or part of your bio! Or consider giving it away to your valued customers about what you’ve learned about your industry!
One of my recent acquaintances is a dedicated softball player. He probably plays 100 games a season on two leagues – one through his work and one through this town. He also has coached numerous teams, including at the local high school. His record is incredibly impressive and he has techniques that are simple and highly effective. Splattered through out his workday conversations in a sales capacity are mini stories of how a team would play on a field.. and it always relates back to real life somehow as sports often do. After hearing his passion and his unique twist on the game, I suggested he put together a pamphlet for others who are in his position. After all, he’s dedicated about 20+years to the sport and although he doesn’t consider himself an author, he certainly has a lot of expertise to share with others.
Think about it. Even though In the last 30 years mankind has produced more information than in the previous 5,000 according to Reuters Magazine, there has never been another you, with your experiences, with your clients and your successes or failures. It just might be you who helps others brake through to the next level by sharing what you know.
I’m writing one now and while its taking time, it’s also rewarding to see my experiences spill onto the page and I know through my own struggles, successes and experiences, it’s bound to help others learn something faster than what I learned it.
Here is a great quote by William Glasser:
"We learn...
10% of what we read
20% of what we hear
30% of what we see
50% of what we see and hear
70% of what we discuss
80% of what we experience
95% of what we teach others”

Maybe it’s time to get your book out there! I look forward to learning from you!

Feed Your Children Organic Food- Our blossoming Boys are in Trouble!

Okay.. how do I say this lightly? Ummm OUR YOUNG BOYS ARE GROWING BOOBS!!!

I know.. it’s disgusting! But it’s true! A few weeks ago in Orlando Florida I went to a YMCA swim meet. I’d say now about 1 out of every 5 boys over the age of 10 is now growing tiny buds that are like a little girls. Then, when they get to be about 15, they’ve got breasts.. they’re small but they are definitely breasts!

Even the boys who are in good shape and muscular all everywhere else, have swollen nipples or tiny breasts that just look strange. Many of these kids are overweight and so the over all look is more chubby and looks better.. but MAKE NO MISTAKE..

WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!

PARENTS… especially of kids who are under 16 – you have to feed your kids organic food as much as possible. I checked in with a few parents and grandparents of these kids and told them point blank what I was noticing. They noticed it too but just weren’t really sure. I said to each, “oh, yes.. be sure.. your son has grown breasts! Many of the boys are… and you have GOT to get him off of whole and regular milk”. Most of these parents told me that their boys guzzle milk like it’s going out of style. No, it’s not organic.

Is it just the milk? Is it the hormones in all of the other food like the meat and cheese? Perhaps it’s a combination, but after seeing all of these sweet and innocent darling boys with BREASTS, you can better believe that my son is going to be eating and drinking organic whenever possible!!!

PLEASE send this letter on to EVERYONE you know who is raising a SON! SAVE your children from this humiliation and embarrassment. However, I’m guessing if we don’t stop this epidemic, that someone will be designing a male bra that will end up being cool.

Hey.. I should call the BIG IDEA and pitch it to Donnie!!!

Seriously, it’s an epidemic, and I haven’t heard anyone talk about it. Send this letter to your news outlets and lets let people know what a national crisis we’re facing. Or we’ll be growing SHE MEN in the US, while the other countries laugh at us.

Here are a few things we can do:

TELL EVERYONE TO SAVE OUR KIDS!!! PASS THIS LETTER ON!!!
BUY ORGANIC for them.. and ask the schools to buy it too!!!!
Bring your kids to a local swim meet where you have hundreds of kids in their bathing suits.. and see for yourself and let your kids see what will happen to them if they don’t go organic!
Make your kids take VITAMINS –Omega 3, 6,9, B6, B 12, Magnesium, and a multivitamin. Having the good stuff in the system can off set a bit of the crap we’re feeding them.
GET EDUCATED! READ LABLES. When you put preservatives in, you’re hurting their brains, and their bodies.


Please feel free to send me your stories of any boys who are suffering with this embarrassing situation. It only takes one person to scream loud enough to wake others up!!! I’ve got my hands full.. but can you be that person?

Send stories to Mary Gardner at marymarco1@aol.com and put in the title- MALE BREASTS

Comments:
"Boys go through hormonal changes that cause this. Have you spoken with a pediatrician?" dg

Mary's comment- "My pediatrician is the one who told me that food has nothing to do with ADHD... after trying everything else with my son, and then finally changing his diet to organic and little white bread and added about 10 supplements every day.. I have a totally new son! No one can ever tell me that lie again! Food and vitamins have EVERYTHING to do with the symptoms he had. And I never saw male breasts on kids when we were growing up. And I have always been a swimmer... so I would have noticed!"

Comment from LYNN:
Hello Mary Gardner!
Are you up for a friendly rebuttal?! I read your article and could not help
but share a few thoughts with you...
Thrilled to hear Jeremy's great progress with KK -- hope to see you soon.
And "hi" to Sway.
Best regards,
Lynn
P.S. Email me the info about your party -- love to come.
*******************
As I was reading your article I wondered whether my shoulders would be broad
enough to take on yet another burden of responsibility for one of my
children having a condition (a "disgusting" one at that!) that I could have
prevented simply by making better food choices for them.

I am a proponent of natural medicine, organic foods, and healthy lifestyle,
especially for our children. In recent years, I have applauded my friends
as they question the traditional medical community, not only about the
over-use of antibiotics, but about diagnoses of varying proportions,
cheering and encouraging them to take control of their own and their
family's health and medical treatment. It is exciting to see a new kind of
medical practice taking shape in our country; one where many patients are
accepting the responsibilities of maintaining a healthy body, mind, and
spirit. Quitting smoking, eating better and smaller portions of food,
taking yoga, getting that annual PSA or GYN checkup are all examples of
taking this responsibility seriously. Can we agree that pesticides are bad?
Absolutely. Can eating organic foods, thus reducing our exposure to toxic
elements, make a difference in our overall health? Yes. Is there a new
phenomenon of adolescent boys growing breasts because of exposure to
hormones and pesticides in the foods they eat? No. Relax your shoulders,
moms and dads.

The truth is, development of breast tissue in adolescent boys is called
pre-pubescent gynecomastia, and affects up to 70% of boys. Due to the
increase of all types of hormone levels caused by the onset of puberty, the
liver is taxed to process all of the hormones. What the liver can't process
turns into estrogen; thus, boys may temporarily develop breast tenderness,
and/or small buds. It is not uncommon for one breast to be larger than the
other. It is not abnormal for the breast tissue to feel like a small lump,
and very rarely is it anything bad, like cancer. In most cases these
symptoms will resolve in one to two years. Children should be reassured
that this is a normal and common, though not well-known, part of puberty,
and can be encouraged to wear a swim-shirt or T-shirt if they are
self-conscious. A confirmed diagnosis of gynecomastia can be made by a
doctor if the child or parents are concerned. Obesity can contribute to an
increase in the size of the breast tissue. With the epidemic increase of
obesity in our country, it is likely that what you are noticing among
adolescent boys at the YMCA is more evident than in years past, but
gynecomastia is nothing new, and our sons are not "growing boobies."
Limiting their exposure to growth hormones and pesticides can help reduce
added strain to the liver that is already being overworked by processing the
raging hormones in their bodies brought on by puberty.
In addition to pre-pubescent gynecomastia, there is a condition called
adult-onset gynecomastia. One article I read stated, "Recent increases in
the use of steroids, certain anti-depressants, acid reflux, blood pressure
and prostate drugs are causing a wave of adult-onset gynecomastia." Other
sources also cited various illegal drugs as causes, including marijuana,
heroin, and cocaine, as well as alcohol consumption. Also, excessive
amounts of soy in the diet could be a culprit (soy is full of the female
hormone, estrogen). For the inquiring mind, there is a great deal of both
medical and support information available for this disorder. I am attaching
links to several websites for more information on gynecomastia.
As parents, we have plenty of things to worry about concerning our children.
Thankfully, many of us are well-educated on the benefits of limiting
exposure to pesticides by eating organic foods. We are also fortunate to
have access to a wealth of vital information at our fingertips via the web.
Along with that, however, comes the added responsibility of discerning valid
data from that which is not, and determining whether and how we communicate
that to others.
For more information on gynecomastia:
http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/QAA365092
http://www.drpaul.com/adolescent/breastenlarge.html
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/47127.php
or search "boys growing breasts" in your browser
Lynn Green

COMMENT- "Love the comment.. and I'm wondering who did the research, and who supported these doctors to give all of these stats? I"m sorry.. but this is just NOT normal. Well, maybe it's normal for today's standards.. but when "we" were growing up... there weren't any boys having hormonal changes like what you're telling me is normal today. Doubtful these kids parents are using drugs as one article suggests... and I'm noticing male breasts on kids who are skinny and in shape!! So it's not just the fat or overweight part.
I'm guessing that we're becoming used to seeing it.. and that it isn't as alarming to the teens of today b/c they're used to seeing it.. but for a mom of an 8 year old.. who is just now seeing boys without shirts for the first time.. I'm completely SHOCKED that other people aren't freaking out like I am. I don't want to make the kids feel badly.. it's not their fault and I"m not blaming the parents.. but I am trying to wake people up to say.. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.. stop feeding our kids HORMONES in the meat and the milk!!! "

FURTHER COMMENT AFTER TALKING WITH Dr. Kirti Kalitis of Center for Integrative Health and Medicine of Orlando (medical + homeopathic physician)

I spoke with Dr. Kalitis and shared with him my observations about the boys.. and he said things I wasn't surprised about. 1. It's controversial within the medical profession and "this subject" is pretty much off limits in public!2. They've changed what is "normal" versus what is "not normal" to keep up with the changes in the kids bodies. But.. he said that there are way more children with symptoms than what the medical profession is stating. He asks.. what is really normal and what is abnormal? This is the debate now... homeopathic versus medical profession. 3. The homeopathic profession is all over it.. ... and attribute it to the bovine hormones in the milk and meat, and the PLASTICS believe it or not. Also, the amount of SOY in the food products is creating extra estrogen in the systems. This is found in many soups and canned foods. The latest issue of Natural Awakeings.. the local alternative magazine has a big article on the changes of kids and the foods to avoid. 4. He's glad people are talking about it.. its the only way people are going to create changes!

Speak Your Mind!

Imagine that you’re about to enter the boardroom and you know that the president of your company is going to oppose the idea that you’re bringing to the table. You know though, that your idea will work, because you’ve seen it work before, yet you’re new at the company and aren’t quite sure how you’ll be received? How do you present your idea without sounding like a naysayer?


Or, you’ve got some bad news to share with your spouse. You’ve agreed to go on vacation but you’re now being told you have to work during that time. How are you going to present your side when you know how upset your spouse it going to be. How can you phrase it to cushion the blow?

What about at work? Perhaps there is someone who is more outgoing, more aggressive than you and seems to always come up with all of the bright ideas. You want to appear to be an eager and hard working employee who is making a great difference and bringing value to the company, yet you feel that the other personalities in the room squash yours. How can you get a word in edge wise and how can you get your brain to think of these remarkable things on the spot and do it without sticking your foot in your mouth and telling the other employees what you REALLY think???

Here are a list of ways to make sure that you’re prepared to make a good impression on those who you communicate with.. .even in sticky situations!

Realize that there are always going to be difference of opinions, and learning to present your views in a way that is non confrontational is definitely something worth learning! Make it your goal to remain respectful always of others in every situation if possible.
Hear the others out. The old saying rings true, “they don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Ask questions about the others opinions and ideas and really seek to understand where they are coming from. Seek to clarify any points you might not grasp at first. Use words like “share with me/us what you like about this idea….”

Understand other peoples’ motives! They want to feel good! Does that mean the person wants to look good? Do they want to sound brilliant? Do they have a reputation of being creative? What ever it is, endorse the positive. Tell them that their ideas are good, or smart or creative and that you understand why they feel the way they do.



When it’s time to bring up your idea- chose your words carefully!
When you present the ideas, make sure you’ve understood and endorsed them, then suggest some other alternatives… “Here is one idea that I’ve seen work…. Or .. “in addition to what we’ve already discussed, here are a few more ideas that I’ve researched and would love to share with you.”

Lastly; PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!!! If you’re not getting a chance at speaking your mind or if you’re great at sticking your foot in your mouth, do what the pros do: PRACTICE BEFORE YOU SPEAK!!! If you can find out the subject of the meeting in advance, do it. But ALWAYS come prepared to the meetings with something brilliant to add to the group or to the person. If you’re being drowned out, then practice projecting your voice and looking like you have authority about it. Additionally besides HOW you speak, think about WHAT you speak about! Always think about bringing VALUE to those you communicate with. And PAPER IS POWER! If you can leave behind some information in the written form, you’ll have left a great impression!

Learning to engage with others quickly, easily and effectively takes time and a bit of planning to make it sound or appear as smoothly as the pros. But if you do learn to communicate easily under difficult situations, your co-workers, friends and relatives will respect you and appreciate your efforts and will want to celebrate you, and not just tolerate you!

Hanging out with the Techies

Today my husband invited me to lunch with his techie team. Well actually, I invited myself to his lunch because one of the guys he works with that I wanted to meet was celebrating a birthday. So, my husband was fine bringing me along with the 10 guys and one gal to the Mellow Mushroom in Winter Park. I wanted to meet Ryan Price because he leads several conferences in and around the Orlando area for Blogging and for networking purposes in the technical fields. We have emailed back and forth and I thought today would be the perfect time to meet him in person.. on his birthday!

What an education! Between the 10 of them talking about Blogging, video software, I-Phones, Twitter, techie conferences, social media thrown in with some programming language and Project management, my head was full after about and hour!

But it was so fun! As a novice to technical language but someone who soaks it all up so I can stay up on trends, it was a blast to hang out and listen to them. They’re programmers who have a personal interest in social media as well as doing it for their jobs.

For me, it was so much easier hanging with them for an hour than reading a techie magazine, and easier to pick up on the language. They gave me content for an upcoming business article and ideas for others.

Hanging with those outside your own industry can give your own creativity a boost and sharpen your own knowledge about something that might be out of your comfort zone but that is interesting.

What a great lunch! I’m definitely planning on spending more time with these guys as they banter during their lunches about hot technical advances in the field of social media. Stay tuned to upcoming blogs and articles for the OBJ on this fun topic!

Coaching the CEO in Transforming their Company

Looking back over the course of my career in coaching for the past 15 years, I’ve noticed one thing. The older I got, the older my clients got. And the more successful I got, the more successful my clients became.

I’ve realized that age does have some advantages, and one of them is in learning from the many mistakes along the way. Somewhere it happened to me, that I lost the ego of having to look good to people, and now have the ability to completely set foot in another’s shoes and sense what they are experiencing at the moment. I believe this gift has developed over time, and through all of the experiences I have had, coaching so many people. I’ve had excellent training for years and years, and as a result of using all of that training, I’m now able to sit with a CEO or an executive, with only myself and my intuition. What happens as a result is nothing short of miraculous!

This past week I was able to work with two CEOS of mid sized companies who are leading teams of people. Both have had a tremendous amount of success in their companies but they now want to go from being good to fantastic. They want to transform their companies and have longer reaching impact on the world in which they live, not just on their immediate customers.

With such lofty goals, the only place to start is by starting with the CEO. Where are you in your life? Tell me about who you are? What is your essence? What makes you tick? What has gotten you to this place in your life at this point in time? Who were your early role models? How did you know you were able to have the ability to lead like you have? Where do you feel you need to grow to take your company to the next level?

As I’ve gotten to know these CEOs and understand the commitment for excellence they’ve each shared in their lives, I was able to pull out values that they each had chosen to live their lives by. Although each were different and had different styles, the words just flowed from me to tell them who they were in the world. Committed, champion, directed, focused, sincere, loyal, intelligent, fair, or compassionate, warm, and concerned. They both had employees they’ve nurtured along the way and lead teams and were involved with the community.

Both came to a place in their coaching though where they realized that in order to go to the next level in their businesses, they needed to develop other traits and characteristics that would fit into the new roles they needed to fulfill. As a CEO they need to be a visionary for the company, and they need to inspire those around them. They need to be able to motivate the troops and to speak with authority and conviction.

How were they each going to do that when they were trying to figure out the words themselves… or the mission for their company?

So we started with them writing a personal mission statement for themselves, and for their companies. We wrote a vision for where the company would be heading and a purpose for who the company is in the world.

We worked on looking at how transformation starts. It starts by acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses, and understanding where we have room to grow. In learning to inspire others, we have to start focusing on the needs of others.. and considering what motivates others? Understanding that whether or not the people we’re communicating to are another CEO of a large firm, or the mom who is out with the girls for the day, that we need to have the ability to teach our staff to meet others where they are. And the CEOS understand the need to teach by example.

The topics that we coach on are vast. From customer service to team building to leading meetings and speaking extemporaneously, to media appearances, to upgrading our vocabulary or changing the types of books that we read. Evolving into a CEO who sees their job at helping others transform is a big task. And it takes a person who has courage to look at where they need to grow. It takes a person who is willing to let the ego slide and to face our fears one step at a time.

It has been a pleasure to come to a place where I am able to take this journey of transformation with these impressive individuals. I feel honored that they trust me to lead them on this path of strategic business planning and cash flow, but by doing in a way that touches people positively and not working to milk the employees so the executives can become rich.

These individuals want great companies, who have apostles and evangelistic employees who spread the word about their great company being great! To me, that’s a great place to put my time, and I feel joy and purpose in working with other individuals who see their role in the world as a lot more than all of the material goods they can accumulate.

The best way to transform our companies is to transform ourselves. And the quickest and fastest way to do that is by working with an individual who can speak to us in truth.

Meet them where they are, and take them on a journey that will last a lifetime and that will inspire millions of people. I’m beginning to see my own purpose become more clear, in the eyes of the CEO.

Iron Sharpens Iron

Seems like I am at the point in my career where I am working with many seasoned professionals. These people have had a lot of success in their careers and several of them are taking off in second or even third careers.

It’s really interesting to coach and consult for some of these people. They have been the bosses in many jobs prior to the current job. They know what they’re doing. They can actually do some of these jobs with their eyes closed but they’re coming to me because they want to get ahead quicker and don’t have a mentor as they may have had earlier in their career and they know the value of working with a coach.

In several of these cases, I’m consulting, which means that I have to share with the client what to do. Coaching is helping them discover it on their own. But in my case, I have a lot of expertise that they need so I’m there to tell them what is going to work and what isn’t going to work.

And in a few of these cases recently, I’ve had to use the analogy of Iron Sharpens Iron!!! And it’s true! These people are challenging me over and over and because I know what I’m talking about, I’ve had to tell them to trust me, and to understand that I’m on their team and that I want them to succeed. But, I’ve told them, that if they keep doing what they’ve always done, they’ll get the results they’ve always gotten!!!

One of my friends, Carlos, told a story that captured what is happening in my business right now. He told me that he used to be a white water rafting guide and part owner of the company and recently he went to Colorado to visit and went rafting. He automatically started barking out orders and immediately, the guide whose boat it was, yelled at him to stop yelling orders. He said, "this is my boat, and we’ll do it my way!" If the passengers listen to you and not me, we could have an accident!!

My friend was a bit shell shocked.. mostly at his own reaction of taking over the helm of someone else’s boat. It was natural for him to do, but the second he was commanded to stop, he did.

Those of us with strong personalities and who have had success sometimes have to regress a bit when venturing into something new. We have to put away the need to always be right, and the need to have everything go our own way. Sometimes, when moving in a new direction, there are others who can guide us, and because we do have strong personalities and great experience, we might occasionally bump heads.

I’ve learned along the way, that bumping heads is normal, natural and not something to avoid. It’s going to happen, and when it does, it can make both professionals better, because the one who is leading, has to explain in a way that another leader can understand and agree to and follow.

Iron sharpening iron is keeping me focused on understanding that my clients are knowledgeable and successful, but coming to me to get the best of the best. I’m helping them write speeches, present themselves better professionally, as speakers, in the media or on video, and to their companies leading meetings. They’re learning to motivate their staffs, coach their teams and to lead more effectively.

Iron sharpens Iron. And I am determined to keep myself and my clients sharp!

Connected to Strangers

Airports are the new dating services! More and more people are reporting meeting potential mates while waiting for planes than ever before. It’s probably not such a new concept, but one that is getting a lot of press recently.

As a business traveler I’ve been privileged to meet many extraordinary people in ordinary circumstances. It truly does seem that everyone has a story.

I met Pete, the 50 something Health care professional who left his mom today for the last time. He confided in me that his mom was probably going to die later on today and that he said his last goodbyes. Tears welled up in me as I heard him tell the story of how his mom told him that she could see his dad and her sister at the end of her bed. His dad had died in 2003 and her sister years before. He told his mom that they were waiting for her and that it was okay to go. He comforted her by saying that everyone who was still here was going to be fine and that she would be missed.

I met Maria, the long time public school PE teacher who now worked in a non school environment who now bubbled with passion over the non traditional way of allowing kids to learn what they want when they want. She assured me that kids have a natural desire to learn and that in time, they all accomplish the things they need to learn in order to be successful.

I met Nathan, the 26 year old fast tracker in the financial industry who looked like the perfect crisp fraternity boy who had success written all over him. He was charming and humble and curious what life would bring. He was a swimmer in high school and recently ran 10K without training and it gave him a run for his money. He reminded me of another friend in the financial industry and so I promised to introduce them with the hopes of my friend Brian who is a fast track executive in the same industry.

The list of interesting people that I have met on the road just goes on and on. It’s true that every single person you meet has a story. It’s usually a really interesting story too, and at some point throughout the conversation, you can usually find how you’re connected to the person, by race, religion, region, friend, industry, or interests.

I’ve found that we are naturally connected to everyone. What gets in the way of any meaningful relationship is ourselves. In 99 times out of 100, if we get our own egos out of the way, our own fear of talking with others, then we can share of ourselves, and experience the true joy of being connected to another.

The stranger is no longer a stranger. They have now become a friend.

Breathe New Life into your Sales Force!

Have you ever wondered how you were going to keep your sales team motivated day after day, month after month, and year after year? After the team is consistent with making quota and doing a great job with their customers, how do you get them to continue reaching for the stars and continue to stay motivated?

Yesterday I was in the office with a new sales team that I’m coaching. I sat with the sales manager for quite some time and quickly uncovered a few glaring areas that are standing in the way of this team moving forward. Because this team has been doing things the same way for several years, they didn’t have fresh eyes to see where they could be saving some time and making more money.

In this down economy, they’re having a tough time getting on the phone to make cold calls and have seen companies cancel contracts to save money. Because they’re experiencing this rejection, it’s tarnishing the real amazing benefits that their company offers others, which is the ability to MAKE money and to SAVE time. They’ve been focused on the wrong things emotionally, so what we’re implementing are a few things in the very short term that can get this team back in the saddle, feeling the love for their products and services once again.

We’re setting up a conference call with a few customers who are in love with this company. They’re satisfied customers who are regularly using the products and services but don’t have the need to be on the phone with the sales team anymore. They’ve moved way beyond a regular sale at this point. They’re customers who are content with the company. So, we’re going to get the whole sales team on the phone with a few customers and get a conversation going to hear the stories how the products have been used and integrated into their businesses. It may sound like they’re preaching to the choir, but not really. They’ll be motivating this team, and to remind them, that they represent an awesome company and product and group of services.

Next, we’re having a sales contest! This contest is a short term, one week contest focused on outgoing calls. I call them CONNECTION CALLS which mean they’re at least 2 minutes a piece. This is plenty of time for a connection to take place and for the sales pro to get a bit of information.. either a new name, a referral or a bit of information that will help them develop a relationship with the right people.

The award will be a night in a hotel and dinner for two. When I originally presented this idea to the CEO, he didn’t think that something so small would motivate this seasoned team who can easily afford this on their own. But what he doesn’t understand is that this will be a FREE Trip! And even the celebrities who are multi millionaires love getting free stuff! Everyone does!

So, we’re off and running. The coaching has breathed some fresh air into this team by reconnecting them with the happy customers and by bringing about a short term and fun contest. In just in one or two short sessions, this team is getting their juices flowing and gaining the excitement once again.

For a coach, this is where the excitement starts to build. When you see enthusiasm returning to a team that has been a bit stale, you know you’re on the right track! It’s exciting to see, because you know, that right around the corner, that calls will be made with a fresh new attitude… and that with all of that positive energy, that sales are lurking right around the corner!

Go get ‘em guys!!! I’m cheering you on!!!

The Difference between Coaching and Training

Have you ever been told to do something, and you know you SHOULD do it, but you just can’t seem to make it happen? Conversely, do you remember experiencing something new and thinking to yourself, “this isn’t so difficult… I can do this!”

This is the difference between coaching and training!

Recently I was in a new client’s office introducing myself and doing an introductory coaching session. The purpose of the coaching was to get some of the new sales professionals over the fear of cold calling. They believed they were always going to be given warm leads to follow up on, and not have to make the effort to call anyone new. When the leads started getting less and less, the business strategy was forced to change and they knew they needed to start the sales and marketing process with current team.

The management team told the sales team that they now had to start seeking clients. The phone records showed a different story. No one seemed to be doing an effective job so they decided to bring in a coach in to see if that would help the sales team to make outgoing sales calls.

The sales team was all extremely friendly, sharp and outgoing. But when the manager started announcing why I was there, two individuals clammed up, crossed their arms in front of their chests, and seemed incredibly intimidated and closed minded.

So after being given the floor, I introduced myself, gave a bit about my background and what I do and then started asking questions. I asked about them and their job backgrounds, what they loved and didn’t love about their former jobs, and I asked about their strengths and weaknesses. I asked about the environment that they were finding in the marketplace. I asked about the strategies they had in place. I asked about their systems. I asked about how their best calls went and then we determined the best type of buyer or an ideal client. At about this time, the CEO told me in front of the group, “they already know this. We’ve already had training on qualified buyers.”

At that point, I looked at him and said, “That’s great! But I need to hear from THEM about what they are doing and understanding and feeling. I need to hear where they have total confidence and where they find blocks. This needs to come from them, not from anyone else.”

Then I continued to ask questions. From that moment on, I had everyone’s attention, and they all started sharing. They shared with each other about what was working, what wasn’t working. They shared about some of the best conversations that had taken place. They announced that they felt they needed a script to help them get comfortable with what they were doing and they mentioned not ever doing phone cold calls before and that they were unsure of how to do it and a bit intimidated.

I listened to them as they admitted their fears with as much openness and acceptance as I could. Then I acknowledged them for feeling that way and shared with them that that was extremely common and that they were completely and 100% normal!!! They shared stories of obnoxious sales professionals that I asked them to compare or contrast their own personalities to and then I asked what they would suggest to the obnoxious sales professional if they were coaching them. I asked them if they were also intimidated when they first started this job and they admitted they were. I asked how they got comfortable with doing their current job and they shared that they watched others, learned the strategy, the “language” and then practiced. I asked if they’d be willing to take on that same strategy when learning this new skill of cold calling. Then through a series of me asking questions and them answering, most of them felt that starting a marketing process before they had to cold call would introduce the company and its services first, so they wouldn’t be making actual “cold calls” when the time came to reach out to the client. They all seemed to be comfortable with that idea.

At the end of the 2 hour session, all of the sales team were sharing, taking notes and offering to type up their findings with the group. Then I asked each person what was their “take away” from today and 1 goal they were going to set for the next week. Each person had something great they were able to take away from the coaching session and had set new goals that included putting a strategy in place for marketing, making new cold or warm calls and finding new clients. The stiff bodies were replaced with a relaxed and comfortable team who seemed to be enthusiastic about moving ahead.

Later that day, I received an excited email from the CEO who was in the room the whole time. He told me that he had tried to get them to make cold calls for the past 5 months with no effectiveness. He shared with me that several of the team had had mentoring and training from management on the cold calls for weeks at a time, but still, it was ineffective. He seemed genuinely blown away that after one coaching session the entire team was excited and open to moving forward and now had a specific strategy for doing so. And he was excited to continue moving forward with coaching and saw that no matter how much people are told what to do, that if they have fears, they won’t do it until they feel they CAN do it.

So I shared my very deep and wise philosophy that I hope he never forgets.

“Coaching….. works!!!”

Misplaced Passion

Have you ever been yelled at by someone and their energy was just over the top? Or perhaps you got in someone’s way while driving and they lay on the horn so loud that it is just a bit unreasonable? How about, have you ever seen someone go off at a restaurant or at a store when they didn’t get the best customer service and they just have to let the whole world know? I have a new term for it!!! It’s called MISPLACED PASSION!!!

I’m seeing it all over the place. Drivers on the road who are really stressed about their bills at home act reckless and blame others. Family members who are stretched to the max handling babies, children, bills, jobs, companies, husbands, wives, vacations, insurance, taxes and millions of other things, get fired up when they don’t receive enough calls, or parents on the soccer or baseball fields screaming at their little kids to perform, when what they really should be doing is cheering all of the kids on for just showing up and learning the rules and about good sportsmanship.

I believe that I’ve had a lot of misplaced passion in my life. When I wasn’t working towards a goal that psyched me up, I would place my energy behind issues of customer service. If someone did right by me I’d go to the ends of the earth to let their company know what a great employee they had on board and that the person should be recognized as the star they are! And certainly, on the flip side, if I don’t get invited to an important family function then I will let everyone know! Or if a company did something unethical, or cheated me out of money in a way, I have demanded a return plus a bonus for my trouble. Being a media person, I’ve always thrown that in there, and promised to let the whole world know of their mistake if I didn’t receive the proper compensation or get treated fairly. I normally get whatever I ask, and never make a big deal of it if it wasn’t completely fair, but I’m guessing I am probably stressing someone out with the threat of negative media attention!

Finally, though, I have a passion that I’m getting behind, that is a cause worth sharing with the world. I’m on a mission to educate the educators and teachers and counselors who work with children who have high sensory issues and ADHD because if they have those two, they might have others. If they have up to 6 issues that are uncovered, it bumps them to the Atypical autism scale. These children mostly go undiagnosed, or are mistreated. As a result, the families are stuck with trying to figure out their children, who actually might have some information processing issues that no one knows about. If they get a proper diagnosis, then the children receive lots of additional help from the state and can be treated without the family spending thousands of dollars with no insurance coverage.

We’ve worked with probably 15 different doctors who never suggested we get a neurological assessment for our son. And now that we have one, we’re thrilled to have a deeper understanding into his personality and his brain and his development. He’s a super gifted child, with a few quirks, but now he won’t get in trouble for these quirks as he did before. We have a road map and with that, we’re having much success with him and enjoying our family life for the first time in a long time.

My misplaced passion has been replaced by enormous energy, and focus to let the world know about this misdiagnosis. I’m happy that I won’t be wasting my energy and focus and passion on trivial things that don’t matter any more.

But still, if you’re a customer service person and are treating someone with disrespect, I’m still guessing I won’t bite my tongue. So I guess my passion isn’t going away completely… but my guess is too that when it’s completely channeled, you’ll be hearing a lot about atypical autism!!! And that absolutely THRILLS me!!!

Ending a Client Relationship

All of us at some point or another become friends with our best clients. Spending time with clients on the phone, in person, in meetings, conference calls, out to lunch, dinner, conferences, or wherever our jobs take us, offers us time to get personal with our clients. We find out about their families, their kids, grandkids, about their vacations, trips and personal interests, likes and dislikes. We often start to think of our client as a friend. So what happens when our client is no longer a client?

It can be really difficult. It can feel like a great relationship is over and never to return. There might be a sense of grieving for a time and a period where there is no communication in place of where there had been constant contact.

Ending the client relationship needs to be well thought out in advance because its bound to happen here and there for one or many reasons. Maybe the individual you were friends with will get a new job. Maybe the predecessor has a different relationship already in tact. Maybe the owner has a company he or she wants to try. Perhaps your prices went up or your vendors made a mistake. Perhaps there were problems in the invoicing, billing or paperwork that got too confusing or perhaps there was a misunderstanding somewhere along the way that you didn’t even know about before it was too late.

Relationships come to a close for many different reasons. And it’s best to have a planned out system to deal with these, just as you would for the beginning of a relationship.

1. It’s natural to want to save an account that you’ve come to rely on as a regular source of income. Try to get to the bottom of the problem to see where things went awry and to see if there is any way to salvage the relationship. Offer to give a service for free or at a deep discount. But when it is clear that the relationship is over, then face it like a champ.

2. Just as in any relationship, human emotions often change with the tide, so it’s best when a relationship has ended that the relationship is given space. After all is said and done, it’s best not to beat a dead horse. It’s best to let some time slip away so you can regain your composure before writing a letter to your former client and it can sound gracious instead of whiney or angry.
3. Write a letter that apologizes for the confusion or the mistake. Be sympathetic and understand their frustration. Reiterate the offer to make amends or offer a discount or something free if they ever come back. Then continue the letter and outline several wonderful things that occurred over the course of the relationship. Outline the successes, the money saved, earned or made based on the relationship. Then share how much the relationship has meant to you personally as well as professionally and that you will look forward to staying in touch.

4. At the end of the letter, start to treat the client as a potential new client. Offer to be of service to them, to be available to answer any questions, or concerns they may have. Offer to be utilized as a resource to them if they need it.

5. Put them in the potential client file. They are no longer a client. But who is to say that they won’t be a client in the future? Keep them on your mailing list. Keep them up on savings or specials or opportunities that your company is offering. Touch base every so often by phone and by email and speak with them personally as well as professionally.

The key is to always maintain your composure and don’t let your emotions get the best of you when the relationship sours. Maintain your dignity even if you made mistakes and had to apologize for a misunderstanding.

The old saying goes, “time heals all wounds.” This saying can be used in business too. Perhaps over time, after working with other vendors, they’ll realize what they’ve missed. Perhaps if the relationship is still in tact and well oiled, they’ll feel that coming back won’t be uncomfortable at all, and that they’d be able to pick up right where they left off before.

When we show dignity in losing, we prove what a winner that we are. Over time, our last impression can become a good impression. And no matter what ever happens with the client, we can always feel good about it for the mature way we handled it!

Conquering The Master of Ceremonies Role

Conferences can be long and drawn out. They can also be overwhelming because of the amount of information that is presented in such a short time. At conventions where industry experts present, the presentations are highly professional, packed with rich information, research and show hard core results. Most of the speakers use PowerPoint, with video spliced into the speeches which breaks up the slides of data.

Because each presentation is so thought provoking and jammed pack full of information, there seems to be a need to process the information after each speech. Our brains can only hold so much information before they start to tune out and think about all of the items sitting on our desks at home.

For the past few days, I was the Master of Ceremonies at the national Emarketing Association Convention in San Francisco. There were about 6-7 speakers per day on the highest level of marketing. This made the conference challenging as well as highly innovative. They brought results, tips and the tried and true secrets that have worked for their high level companies and clients.

Because I got to sit in and listen to the speeches, I was swimming with new and exciting information and constantly stimulated at the many ideas that I developed. Additionally, I met and get to know so many dedicated marketing professionals; I nearly decided to switch careers, based on their passion for their jobs.

As the role of Emcee, my job was to give breaks to the participants and to introduce the speakers. I always love this role because it’s an opportunity to be playful with people and to bring some lightness to break up the serious topics that are being discussed. Because this role is often given to professionals in their own field, I came up with a list of suggestions for others who are also engaged in this position as facilitator for a meeting or break out sessions, Master of Ceremonies or Emcee for any event they host.

1. In the beginning, welcome the participants with enthusiasm and a smile and offer an overview of the next few days. Share with them some of the exciting highlights that will happen and share with them some ideas for activities on their time off.

2. Stay in close communication with the event manager or whoever is putting the conference together. This person has specific announcements that come up, and has a certain idea of how information is presented.

3. Study up on the town where you’re staying to offer highlights of the city. Introduce yourself to the GM of the hotel and the concierge so you have their name and can rattle their names off to the participants in the event. Having a good concierge can save your participants time researching area restaurants if they have free time for dining out. And sharing their name will add one more thing that allows the participants to feel comfortable in their temporary “home”.

4. Sit down with each of the speakers before they go up on stage. Ask them the basic questions such as where they’re from and how they got in their careers, but also ask them what they do for fun. If they’re in terrific shape, compliment them and ask how they do it? The answers will surprise you!!! From sky diving, scuba diving, rollerblading and kite surfing to wind surfing and being wine enthusiasts, these activities bring a personality to the speakers that may not be apparent from the platform. After reading a shortened version of their bio, share extemporaneously what you learned about the speakers in an enthusiastic and fun way.

5. Ask the question, “What is one thing that no one here would ever know about you or guess about you? The speaker at that point will check into his or her long term memory bank and come up with some really interesting stories that they love to tell!!! One high profile speaker shared how he was arrested at age 12 after being harassed by other children on his paper route for cussing at the children. Another conservative looking speaker shared that he was in a rock band in college which was really bad but started getting better after 5-6 beers! These stories allowed the audience to take a peek at the inner lives of these speakers to see the real fun of behind the professional image the person.

6. Share a bit about yourself throughout the conference. The audience needs to feel comfortable with you as well, so offering advice from your own careers, offer up famous quotes, or stories from your own personal life. This brings more intimacy and liveliness to the audience. Make sure that the stories are short and sweet and have a punch. And if you find that a speaker needs extra time getting set up, go up to individual participants and ask them what they are getting out of the conference so far. Sharing the limelight and engaging particpants is a way to stall for time. Make sure you ask questions of people who look open to answering questions. It can be embarrassing for a participant who is intrinsically shy and who clams up in front of audiences.

7. In between the speakers, ask the participants to stand up, cross the isle and meet someone new each time. Then ask them to share what they are taking away or enjoyed from the previous speaker. This helps all of the participants to get to know lots of people in the room besides just those sitting in their immediate area.

Many of us will be cast in the role of Emcee or Master of Ceremonies at some point in our careers. This is the time to allow others to shine, to bring out their uniqueness from the stage so the audience can sense how likeable they are in “real life”. It’s a role that takes a bit of preparation, the ability to promote others, and to act enthusiastic even when you’re exhausted from long travel or from late hours. But it’s the one role that can bring fun to any event that might otherwise be on the serious side, and it’s the role that can get everyone talking, sharing laughing and engaging with one another when they might normally stay to themselves. Getting to know others on a fun level ultimately makes the conference memorable and a success for the participants.

Grandma Gracie

Yesterday I spent the afternoon with a friend of mine Giovanni Livera. He’s a creative genius who actually has more energy that me.. and together we could probably talk for hours and hours and solve all of the world’s problems.

After I’m with someone like Gio, I can write about 15 articles in seconds. The topics get blown up and I find so much information of use as a writer. It’s imperative that someone like me, spends time with someone like him.

He told me a great mini story about his Grandma Gracie. He said he didn’t understand it until he got older and that she used to talk to herself over and over and over. I laughed when I heard it, and realized what a GREAT habit she had formed.

When she was sewing, for hours upon end, Grandma Gracie would talk to herself and encourage herself along the way to stay focused and to stay the course.

“Come on Gracie, you can do it, you can do it. Keep it up Gracie, you can do it.”

Over and over and over she told herself, “you can do it”.

And guess what? She did it!

Giovanni, one of the most creative individuals I’ve ever met, now implements Grandma Gracie’s strategy… “come on Gio, you can do it. Good job Gio, keep going.. you can do it… you can do it…”

From looking around at the many, many amazing things that my friend Gio has accomplished, Grandma Gracie’s self talk has worked in Gios life.
And today, I’m using her technique… “come on Mary, you can do it. Way to go Mary, stay the course.. you can do it, you can do it.”

And now.. I pass it on to you… “you can do it.. you can do it….. It reminds me of the saying, “Inch by inch.. anything is a cinch”!!!! It certainly worked in their lives.. now let it work in ours!!!

Unbeatable Disney Customer Service Made us Fans for Life

We are coming off of spring break in Florida and finally relaxing after a 3 day Disney vacation. We visited the Magic Kingdom, Epcot and Animal Kingdom. These past 2 weeks are traditionally the busiest of the whole year, because of the amount of people who come because of spring break.

I can attest to the fact that the parks were crowded. There were times where making it through the crowds was nearly impossible. The lines of the attractions ran over and hour in many cases. People who were able to secure Fast Passes were able to soar through the lines with no problem. That system allows anyone to feel special a few times throughout the day if they plan their time correctly. It keeps people satisfied that at least they’ll be able to visit a few rides quickly and efficiently.

I learned an invaluable tip from a friend of mine who has a child with a disability. We were able to secure a special guest pass because someone in our party has a childhood developmental disorder and with the proper paperwork from the doctor which we were able to provide, we were given a pass which we’ll renew every 3 months. This pass allows immediate access to all rides with no waiting whatsoever. It’s the disability line, which is the same as the fast pass line. If you time it outside of the fast pass time, you can get up to the front of the line within minutes. Even if you go at the same time with the Fast Pass holders, your wait time is still only about 10 minutes.

The thing that impressed each of us was the unbelievable treatment we received because of the pass. We were taken on back stage tours a few times by wonderful Disney employees. We were sat in premiere seats whenever possible and were personally attended to if we needed anything. They wildly exceeded our expectations and felt like VIPS instead of second class citizens which often happens to people with disabilities.

None of our children knew how we were able to secure the VIP fast pass and only one Disney employee corrected the children when he called it a Disability pass until we stopped him in his tracks. We don’t want our kids feeling like they’re disabled, even though the disability that has occurred is a constant challenge.

For families with Autism, ADHD or other neurological disorders, this system in place at Disney is invaluable. Disney should be recognized for the great work they’re doing to promote excellent customer service and wonderful treatment of those outside the box.

I’ve always been a customer of Disney but now I’m a fan for life.

Have Hard Times Hardened You or Helped You?

Yesterday we spent the day at the Beach at a resort in the Daytona Beach area. I went to the desk in the morning and asked if they could let me borrow an old hat from lost and found. I shared with them that I had so many upcoming medical expenses for my son, that I didn’t want to spend money on a hat that we’d use just for a few hours and we had hundreds at home.

The young gal at the front desk came back and reported in that it wasn’t possible so I asked to talk with whoever was in charge. Within moments, two women walked out and faced me.

One had an aggressive look on her face, ready for battle. It was apparent on her face when she said, WHAT? CAN I HELP YOU? It was bold and brazen and not soft at all. There was no customer savvy there whatsoever.

The other lady let me speak first, and she was pleasant. I spoke to both of them, and just asked if they had a hat that I could borrow. I didn’t care if it was old or whatever, but my son has red hair and I wanted to help protect his skin.

The bold and brazen lady, in her continued bold style said, “those are only the people’s who lost their hats, we can’t give them out.” I responded, “I’m sure there are some there that have been there forever! Can’t you just let me borrow one?” NO she answered with her natural angry look on her face still plastered on it. Then, the other lady politely chimed in that she’d see if she had one in the condo sales department and she then brought one to our room.

When I walked away, I wondered if this big resort knew how HARD hearted that one lady was? Do they know how her personality is negatively affecting their customers? Do they know, that because she’s got an attitude of “I’m going to get the world before they get me” is costing them?

I would have walked away with such a horrible feeling about their resort. It was the only request I had in my two days there, and it wouldn’t have cost anyone a penny. It was a simple request that they could have done out of the goodness of their heart. And as a matter of fact, someone from the company, albeit in a different department did save the day, and offer me a logo branded hat that was probably used for promotional purposes.
But I didn’t care. I was so grateful for her help and for the hat that I wrote her a long personal letter and will send a letter to corporate on her behalf, about how helpful she was and how awful the other lady made me feel.

What about you? What does your face look like? Is the natural look of your countenance sad? Happy? Content? Angry? Confused? Scared? It is my belief that our faces show our inside feelings and thoughts. And our thoughts then create how we act and respond to other people.

In the case of this woman, she didn’t disappoint. One look at her and I knew that I was going to have a battle on my hands. She wouldn’t give anyone a break because she hadn’t had any breaks in her life. She made it her goal to make it hard on everyone else who she came in contact with on her path.

Lucky for her, and a great blessing to me, she was with a kind hearted lady, who took the role upon herself to solve my problem. She received a long personal and handwritten letter of thanks from me when I left and returned the hat to her. I let her know that she was an angel for me that day.

What would you have done? Gone out of the way for your customer? Or let them figure it out for themselves?

My hope is that if you have time to think about it, you’d do the right thing… and she probably may have too, if she was just a bit more aware.

Just a Secretary?

This week I was called by one of my clients who has delayed in sending my company money that it is owed. She was asking for a letter regarding being the sole provider of my product, meaning that I’m not a reseller.

At this point, we’ve already jumped through numerous hoops with this company. We’ve provided invoices, made calls and have continued to get the run around. We’ve been passed around from department to department and no one has wanted to take responsibility.

Finally, I got on the phone with the lady who was calling us to confirm we received a fax. Our conversation was one of those dumb conversations where I was talking about one thing and she was talking about something completely different. We couldn’t seem to sync up our conversation and both sides were getting frustrated. I asked her what she faxed: she answered: “I don’t know, I’m JUST A SECRETARY”. I said, “who did you fax it to?” She answered: “I don’t know, I’m JUST A SECRETARY”.

I finally told her, “you’re not giving yourself enough credit! You’re one of the most valuable people in your organization!! I couldn’t do what I do without administrative help, and I bet they couldn’t either.”

With that, she calmed down a bit, but sill had annoyance in her voice when I asked WHERE she sent the fax!!! When she called out a (704) area code, I told her that this number changed almost 3 years ago, and someone higher up in her organization not only has been using a faulty address, but a faulty fax number… from THREE years ago!!!

I then gave her the correct address, phone and fax number, and she hung up. It started me thinking about what she and others must think about themselves to suggest… “I’m only a secretary.. or I’m only a sales person, or I’m only a financial person, or I’m only this or that…” Where is the attitude, of: “I don’t know that answer, but I will find it!!!” Why wouldn’t she do whatever it took to hunt down the information and to do her job with passion and gusto, even if it wasn’t in the job description?

Certainly, every organization has their rules, and people can’t be doing other people’s jobs in corporate America but if they're dealing with a customer, it is every person's responsibilty to FIND the answer!!! Entrepreneurs are EXPECTED to do every job, because if it needs doing, they do it. It’s a different mentality I know. Unions instill that “don’t touch someone else’s job” mentality at times too… and it can just cut a person’s motivation to achieve greater results. I do understand and appreciate what unions stand for, but sometimes, it hurts organizations more than it helps. (and that's a completely other topic!)

Consider your “title” and ask yourself.. are you JUST this one role? Or do you play many roles at different times of the day? Of course we have different roles and responsibilities!!! I am a wife, a mother, a sister, daughter, entrepreneur, an athlete, a speaker, a coach, a friend, a colleague, a supporter, an activist, a dreamer, a doer, a employer, an employee, a freelancer, a spokesperson, an expert, a TV host, a TV guest, a radio personality, an author, a trainer, a survivor, a thriever, listener, a blogger, a marketer, an investor, a traveler, and so on and so on. I’m not “just” anything.

If you catch yourself thinking I’m JUST anything.. think again!!! You’re doing that role for that minute, or that day or that week… and if you put on that hat, then take the responsibility for that role. Do what you can to do it well. If you don’t know how, then ask for help. If you get frustrated, take a break and then try it again. Don’t stop until you’ve got it right.

But never, ever, undermine yourself, and say you’re JUST anything.

It’s just simply a cop out…. and simply not true.

The Paparazzi of the Future: Your Future Workers

Remember when taking pictures or video used to be used for vacations or for special events? We used to carry our camera when we had to document something we’d like to remember the rest of our life such as when on vacation.

Years ago, Hollywood stars were enigmas and their private lives were off limits. We had one magazine called PEOPLE that carefully crafted stories of their”perfect” lives. Today, besides the paparazzi who expose every dirty secret of the stars, we have reality TV shows where individuals like Scott Biao (Chachi on "Happy Days) and Paula Abdul, who work out their personal problems in front of a camera. If you watch these shows, you’re wondering, who would ever choose to air their dirty laundry like these stars are doing for the world to see and assess?

Unfortunately, it has caught on and everyone is acting like a star! Spend some time on YouTube or MySpace and you’ll be more than shocked with the secrets that are being revealed by our youth.

Today’s young person has grown up with the mega stars of our times every where they turn... It’s no wonder that the majority of teens now just want to be famous. They don’t care how they do it, they just want it. And now, they don’t just want it, they’re acting the part. Gone are the days that you have to ask someone else to take your picture for your scrap book. Today, our young people stretch out their arms, and smile for the camera or video, and document every stage of their young lives and quickly post them in time for their circle of friends to see and assess. Sound familiar?

But has anyone asked how this is affecting our young people? Has anyone stopped to think about what sort of workers that will be entering our workplace in a few years? Has anyone stopped to think about the actions that our youth is taking as a result of growing up in a Paparazzi Society?

What will happen when they are asked to start off at a company as a receptionist, or in the mailroom? What will happen when they’re not followed around 24/7 by the flash of the camera and able to post their whereabouts on the net for all to see? How will they respond when upper management tells them that some information is private and that they’re being asked to sign a confidentiality clause? Will they be able to do it? Will they need to seek some sort of outside gratification to get the attention they’ve had their whole lives? Will they be able to survive in a corporate environment where the team is more important than the individual? How will managers deal with these workers who are addicted to their own self induced paparazzi and ego that gets a buzz every time someone comments on their personal sites?

Considering what is happening in the blog world now, and how workers are being fired for blogging about inside information, I see a new trend that is causing problems that can potentially escalate out of control. It’s not just the blogs that will be critiqued; it’s the pictures and the video, of our future workers who will be secretly taping their lives on the job... in YOUR offices!

It appears that privacy will soon be a thing of the past… not just for celebrities, but for the average, conservative, and mild mannered person who does a good job for their company and who goes home to care for their children. If they’re not documenting their lives for all to see, they’ll probably have a co-worker willing to do it for them, filled with their own commentary, and claiming it to be perfectly acceptable under our First Amendment rights. They’ll claim to own their own blogs, and own internet -TV networks with their own viewers which will allow them to claim the same rights as a press person traditionally has had.

According to First Amendment rights attorney Lawrence G. Walters of Weston, Garrou, DeWitt & Walters in Altamonte Springs, over the next several years the courts will be struggling with this issue of what is newsworthy and who is protected by the first amendment. He explained that if a person tapes themselves for their own autobiographical purposes to profit from their own image it is allowed. But once they show images of anyone else in public without first getting a signed release, the owners of the other images can file a publicity claim law suit.

Larry suggested that companies implement rules to circumvent this sort of thing from happening in the future. Companies can set up their own rules of what to wear, and what can and can’t happen in the work place. Then, if an employee crosses the line, the employer will be protected legally.

The future is nearly upon us. We can either ignore it or we can prepare for it. Soon we’ll have a whole new work force that act as if they are “stars”. If we don’t seek first to understand, we may be a “star” on someone else’s show.