Last Minute Change

I hosted our SPD Parent Support Group last night. On Friday night, the speaker who was booked called me to cancel due to a family emergency. I was booked all day Saturday and Sunday and didn’t think most people wanted to do business then anyway, so I decided to wait until Monday morning.

I called the local Whole Foods and local Chamberlains and didn’t have any luck there. I even called the corporate office at Chamberlains and didn’t have any luck. I contacted a neighbor who is a nutritionist but she wasn’t available. So I finally decided whatever was supposed to be would be, and that if I found a speaker that came knocking, then I’d book them. So finally, my mom called and told me about Ken Blake, the owner of Curves. I called him and he accepted!

What a treat! Ken was such a delight and so dead on with his message. Although we had a small crowd, he gave the exact message that each of us needed. He was able to hear all of the stories of struggles that each of us have endured with finding the right therapies for our kids and add some advice and lots of empathy and encouragement for all of us.

What an amazing night. It wasn’t what I had expected but it was exactly what was perfect. The right speaker gave the right message for the people who were there, and anyone else wouldn’t have been as perfect as the substitute who came.

So, I’ve learned, when things don’t go your way, when someone cancels on you or changes the plans and you weren’t expecting it, I’ve learned just to go with the flow and know that it’s exactly as it should be.

Perfect!

In Cyber Space and in Business… The NEW Sales and Marketing Models!

Oh my goodness. Things are changing so fast.. it’s like WARPED speed. I just shared with a client that if you taught marketing a year ago.. you’re OUTDATED. Yep! It’s true. Things are happening so fast in cyber space that networking and marketing have turned the corner.

Now.. it’s all about Facebook, Twitter, Second Life, Linked In and Classmates.com. When my clients ask, isn’t that for younger kids? Yes.. and it’s also for ANYONE who wants to stay current! And.. are people getting business out of them? YES! I spoke with a friend today who got his job because the boss found him and was introduced on Linked In.

I’ve also talked with the POWER players and they are annoyed by the many people who are trying to meet with them and get linked up with them. My advice to them is to NOT accept people they don’t want to get connected to, but DEFINITELY to link to those people in their industries who they’d normally hang with at conferences. You WILL miss fun and important conversations if you’re not doing the social networking on line. Even my 70+ year old mom feels she needs to be on Facebook because she’s missing out on fun stuff with her family out West.

The other advise I give to “power players” (people who everyone wants to sell to or a piece of their action) is that they want to think about WHAT THEY WANT. For instance, one of my best friends has a son who plays soccer. His absolute DREAM is to go to Notre Dame. So yesterday in a lunch meeting, I was told about a local Notre Dame Alumni club and that she can have her son join this club. I think it’s actually just a club for fans of ND. Anyway, these are people that she wants to get to know, so she can connect to these people on Facebook and Linked in and Twitter so they can know about her and her son! This is how the new way of business is being done!

So out with the OLD and IN with the NEW!!! Don’t be making an excuse that you’re over the age of 40 and this doesn’t apply to you. I KNOW you don’t have time.. no one does.. so guess what? You have to just do it, and fit it in, and it just becomes a part of your regular day. You’re going to have to choose not to be a dinosaur .. and invest a little time in becoming HIP in the marketing scene once again.

Trust me, it’s worth it. I’ve found several people already who are able to help me with the products I’m selling and with the book that I hope will be published soon. These will have a direct impact on my business.. so YES, I am doing business on social networking sites! And I’m developing relationships and friendships!

Not to mention Second Life, where you create an avatar of yourself and show up for meetings and webinars and conferences as an avatar and listen to speakers who are avatars and meet with individuals all over the world… as AVATARS! It takes a few hours to master this one and to build your perfect Avatar, but get the money out because soon you’ll be doing a lot of business there.. and visiting stores there virtually, and conducting meetings there. It’s fun and takes time to get the hang of it. My first “real time conversation” I went over to two people talking and introduced myself and said, “You are my first people I’m talking to here.” And their answer? “Se habla Espanol?” Nope! So I scampered away!

It’s all good!

So jump on board.. and get with the program.. and when you do.. I’d love to invite you to follow my interesting, personal, professional and cause oriented updates at www.twitter.com/marygardner !

I’ll see you in Cyber Space!

Going Back to my Roots of Sales and Promotion!

I finally admitted it a few weeks ago. I knew it all along. I tried to stuff it down deep and bury it and learn all sorts of other things. I took classes, certifications, studied, taught, coached, owned businesses and ran as far as possible from it… but it’s back… because I finally realized.. after 15 solid years of trying NOT to do it.. but doing it all along.. the simple truth is.. is that I’m … I’m … I’m a promoter.

Yep! I’m a sales person!

OK! Before you run the other way … I’ll explain!!! It’s actually a good thing to be a natural promoter. And I’m learning how GREAT it is to have a skill like this! Because as it turns out now.. I’m able to help a TON of people!

My first job out of college was an administrative job which I was not suited for and horrible at. I was a secretary on Capital Hill. All I wanted to do was to hang out and meet the celebrities who would eye me across the room during big Judiciary meetings but would ultimately be chased down by the politicians who were more important than some cute 20 something young girl who just loved the excitement of it all. I was the one who would type up letters and my eyes would miss 2 or 3 sentences and the letters wouldn’t end up making any sense. The Attorney on Staff, Beverly, was very gracious and never made me feel bad, but I just never felt like I quite cut it and I ultimately quit a few weeks before the Senator I worked for retired.

Then, I landed the job that would ultimately change the direction of my life..booking celebrity speakers through Keppler Speakers in DC. I loved that job, loved the people I worked with and did it well for 7 years. I came up from nothing and ended up making a name for myself, jamming on the phones every day to colleges all over the US.

My goal was simple. Find out WHO the person was, and coach them to find it.. to do it or to achieve it! And oh, yah, by the way.. book some speakers with them.. which I always did. I truly loved the people I met and am STILL friends with some of them to this very day. One guy I spoke with was the brother of one of my clients. He’s now a big wig with the Major Baseball Leagues in London. Clive Russell is still a good buddy.. and that’s from about 16-17 years ago!

I finally decided to get out of sales when I moved to NC and started a PR business. Little did I realize, that EVERYTHING is sales, and everything NEEDS to be sold. From the napkins you eat with to the clothes you wear, someone is using their talent to show it, demonstrate it and present it to the right people. It’s all about the connections.

So, I’ve gone BACK to my roots, of selling, and I feel so blessed that I can go BACK to such a fun career as booking entertainment. Oh, I”ll still coach and speak and do marketing consulting, but I’ll be promoting and selling and helping whoever I can during this time where everyone seems to need an extra push to get out there and let their services be known!

I’m finding now that it’s like getting back in some old jeans that fit just right, or an old shoe that your feet just slides in comfortably. I’m able to see the GOOD and the HIP parts of whoever I meet and can shine the light on them in a fun way so everyone enjoys it. If it’s not a fit for someone else.. no problem.. “have a great day and we’ll catch up again later”. But if it is, then I’ll make sure they’re incredibly happy with their choice!


Going back… it’s not so bad. I’ve had some great experiences in between.. on TV, with PR, with branding, coaching, training, management and with entrepreneurship. But I’ve never quite felt like it fit like a glove. I had to work at it a little, and had to gear up and practice and learn. Not with sales. Not with promotion. It came as natural as any instinct can.

So, I’m back. I’m not boxing myself into just speakers or performers. My skills are here to help whoever needs it and who I can really serve … so I can make us both money.

Going back to stuff from the past. Not always a bad thing… and sometimes its just the EXACT right thing.. that you need .. to move ahead!

Are you bored while others are Talking?

Recently in one of my corporate seminars, a very attractive man was in attendance. He was young, muscular in build and dressed well. He looked as if he had everything in the world going for him. When it came to his turn to share what he would like to get out of that day’s session, he said he’d like to be able to close more sales. I thought to myself, “interesting! He seems like the type of person anyone would buy from based on his appearance.” Then, an interesting thing happened. I started the seminar, and he got out his blackberry and started typing.

Within minutes of him doing his own thing, I took a break and went back to the fellow to see if everything was okay. He said yes and that he was just answering emails. I asked him if he felt he was going to get the best out of the seminar without spending time IN the seminar listening, he said he would take time to listen. After the break, he had put away his Blackberry, but now, he was writing in his notebook. Nothing I did seemed to bring his attention back around to the seminar. So, I changed my tactic. I asked everyone buddy up and work together in threes, to practice pitching their company after engaging in small talk as people do.

I watched from the side and noticed that he was electric when it was his time to pitch. He was animated. He was engaging. But when it was time to listen, he became completely distracted, bored and somewhat disengaged from his conversation partners.

When I spoke with his group about their exchange with one another, I encouraged them all to discuss how it was engaging with each other. I specifically asked the other two how it was when they were talking with the young, attractive man. They both sheepishly admitted that they felt like he was disinterested, bored and only cared about his own message and not about theirs.
I asked if he felt if any of this behavior might impact his sales and his closing ratio? He said that he had ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and that he had been told that he wasn’t a good listener. He knew that it was impacting his relationships and his work but he still didn’t know how to change or improve that. Knowing that a person has difficulty with staying focused in conversations is the first part to correcting it. I shared with him one way to stay focused is to focus on the person to make sure they’re comfortable in conversation. Making sure that you’re physically mirroring them is one way to make them comfortable, and remaining good eye contact is another. Asking questions to further the conversation will allow them to feel like you’re engaged in the conversation and finally remaining eye ball to eye ball eye contact is essential. I shared with them that there is and eye “glare” which tells the person, “hurry up so I can talk” or there is the soft eye, that says, “I’m interested in you.” Practicing these skills in the mirror at home will help in the real world. But yet, he does have a point. I have worked with clients whose mind wanders off so quick that it is really uncomfortable. So, I called a friend of mine, Dr. Rex Birkmire of Birkmire Behavioral Health in Winter Park to ask him if ADD can cause a person to lose focus in a conversation and here is what he said: “The answer is yes. ADD does cause people to lose focus and often interrupt . The entry to the ADD mind is often an unfiltered mind with numerous distractions from inside and out. As a result their consciousness is flooded with information and distractions that result in poor focus, poor concentration, poor listening skills, poor memory and finally interrupting . Medications often help the brain to focus better so one is able to listen as well as remember conversations, and finally allows the listener to have enough focus and concentration to remember what they want to say with out having to interrupt the other person.” In today’s world with daily information overload, it seems like everyone suffers from a little ADD. Taking care of kids, a house, a job, maintenance on the cars, career growth, vacations, pets, etc.. its overwhelming for most people! But for a person who does have a different brain chemistry which interferes with every day life, then they just can’t keep up. There are many alternatives to curing or managing ADD including homeopathic health remedies, supplements, and exercise. If its getting in the way of your every day life, then it’s time to take charge and investigate it to see what you can do to ensure that you’re able to engage in relationships at full capacity. Here are a few quotes from some great Communicators
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. Ernest Hemingway
"It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much." --Yogi Berra "Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery."
-- Joyce Brothers "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."
--- Winston Churchill Amen to that!!! So lets shut those mouths and give others their fair share! After all, they deserve to have some fun too!

Meeting a Gubernatorial Candidate from the Great State of Virginia!

Yesterday, my friend Angie Haddock told me she was going to a democratic fundraiser that her father in law Ed Haddock, the owner/founder of Full Sail in Winter Park, FL, John Morgan, the founder of Morgan & Morgan, and a few others, were putting on for Terry McAuliffe, the former DNC chair and best friend of Bill Clinton. I wasn’t going because it was democratic, because I usually tend to vote for the person who I feel will be most effective leading.

I went primarily to support my friend Angie and to meet people in my home town. And meet I did! I met so many amazingly nice people who were so interesting and fun!

When Ed Haddock got up to introduce his old friend Terry was when I knew we were in for a treat. Ed is an incredibly charming distinguished. speaker and person, with a quick wit and fun story or two, told about his long time relationship Terry and with Virginia. His own father was Mayor of Richmond so he grew up with southern roots.

When Terry took the floor, he was like an electric charger that brings the electricity up in the room about 10x. . He’s a go getter, ambitious and says what he feels. He’s passionate about Virginia and about creating jobs for the people who are suffering there. He shared stories of some communities that actually have big and great jobs available but they’re unable to find anyone who can actually pass the drug test! So, we heard many stories of the traffic congestion on the beltway around Virginia, about the difficulties of commerce and how he’s gotten the support of big named Republicans because he’s Pro business!

There is hardly any way to resist the message the Terry is espousing! He’s dynamic, passionate and as John Morgan calls him, a “force of nature”. That’s absolutely true. Listening to him, it’s easy to get caught up in the enthusiasm and you just absolutely believe that Terry CAN and WILL fix the problems! Then, you start thinking, wow.. I’d really like to work on that campaign.. because he really stands for something great! This was honestly the first and only time that I ever thought about going back to Virginia after leaving in 1993!

I felt great to get to be in the presence of what I felt was a really strong leader and I enjoyed hearing his ideas and his passion for helping people all over his state. I was curious and gathered, that he’d probably be open to a higher office in the future, if the opportunity arose.

Terry McAuliffe, a moderate democratic candidate for Governor is the real deal. I won’t be voting because I don’t live there.. but if I did, I’d be voting for him!

Plugging into Positive Stuff

Oh my gosh.. I just wrote a whole blog and then my BATTERY Died! Yep.. right before I was SAVING it! So… now it’s 10 34, and way past my bed time so in a nut shell.. here it is!!!

Great call today with the BTS gals. On weight and health.. check us out.. you’ll totally learn and get pumped!!!

I’m keeping things positive and cool things are happening. People are asking me who I’m reading (www.beyondthestuff.com!!!) and what they can do to stay the same way. Very cool.

Another gal who is in the hospital shared that my message was the ONLY positive thing she’d heard all week long.. and she thanked me.. that was really a great experience for sure!

I’m twittering lots of positive stuff, and taking OFF anyone who is reporting on the news. I don’t want to know about companies closings and lay offs. I’d rather talk about NEW opportunities for those people and how their lives are about to change.. ultimately for good!

Many “services” have been offered to me to help me with my upcoming book on our journey with SPD, ADHD and Atypical Autism. So when I mentioned last week I’m praying for financial abundance, I’m getting it, although not in cash at this point, but definitely lots of value!

Kelly reengineered my “talk” from “I need to pay bills” to “my bills will be paid on time and will get paid!” It’s much more empowering to claim with all certainty that the bills WILL get paid!! “My bills WILL get paid. My bills WILL get paid. My bills WILL Get paid”. I don’t have to know how or when or where, but they WILL get paid! Kelly is certain of it!

I’m starting a 30 day test of faith for a healing from ADHD in our home. My son is still having challenges so for the next 30 days, we’re reading healing scriptures and applying the same talk to Jeremy that is about him being a FOCUSED, OBEDIENT, compliant and an outstanding student with great behavior. We’ll start those affirmations in the morning and I will be recording the outcome.

So that’s what’s going on in a nutshell. I’ve been getting to bed earlier and waking up earlier which has been nice. I’m still plugging away at the gym and am still doing pretty well there. I’m grateful for the peace that I feel and have had in my home and am grateful that I’m so abundantly blessed with friends!!!

I will report next week on the updates of what I hope will be miracles that have taken place!!! Please send me your positive energy, and your prayers.. and I’ll send you mine!

Chose what Messages You Listen to!

I have had it! I have made my home a NO NEWS ZONE! I’m not going down that path any more. I’ve also decided NOT to read the front of YAHOO anymore because it’s all of the news of doom and gloom and I have CUT MYSELF OFF from all that is negative. As a matter of fact, if you’re a friend or family in my life and start to talk about the economy and anything related to that, then I will politely say, “it’s not for me” and I’ll change the topic and move on.

I feel like I’m putting on an armor every day. I’m gearing up for battle. Every single day going into the world is like getting attacked by vicious bad energy and negativity, so I am now spending more and more time reading positive things and spending more time with my journal and in the quiet space of my home.

I’ve now announced on through TWITTER that I will no longer follow any bloggers/ or twitter users who are not espousing goodness and positive energy and stories. One guy whose name has something about making BIG money, is only reporting how many companies are closing and how many people are out of work. So I announced to all of the 75 people who are now following me.. most of who I don’t know, that if they don’t stand UP and be a leader now, then I will STOP following them! I’ve blocked a few people whose name indicates they’re big $ makers when in reality they’re following everyone else and not a leader at all.

I’m also finding some really great people who are staying positive and moving forward in spite of what else is going on around them. This is the person who will excel in this environment.. the one who knows where they’re going and has the ability to get others along with them.
This morning, my son and I were riding our bikes to school. He’s in second grade and when we got nearer to school I heard a girl call his name over and over. He told me who it was and said she’s always chasing him. HE didn’t even STOP to take a look around to see who it was. He noticed it but didn’t change HIS course of action which was to zoom as fast as he could to the school, park his bike, and get inside so he could see his buddies. No girl was going to distract HIM from doing what he wanted to do. Once he parked his bike he RAN inside, where I found him stomping on the feet of one of his buddies and messing with the boys. So for HIM, it was important to be with the kids and having HIS kind of fun. Nothing else, not even a cute blonde girl, would distract him!

Then, I saw a mom sitting on the ground with the kids, basically just having fun with the kids.. and she was pointing to every child who had Velcro on their shoes instead of laces. She was calling them CHEATER, CHEATER, CHEATER! When she called out MY SON and called him a CHEATER, I quickly responded… NOPE! In our house.. it’s called AN ANSWER TO PRAYER! She laughed!

But.. why should we succumb to HER labels? Just because SHE feels that wearing Velcro isn’t a wise choice, doesn’t mean that we have to accept that negative label she tried to put on my SON. I deflected her comment and turned it around to a joke but let her know.. NOT EVERYONE IS THE SAME.

I see how important it is to chose what filters we allow in our brains. I see how important it is to keep the RIGHT messages coming in so we don’t start altering our behavior to match everyone else who seems to be just looking at WHAT they’re seeing instead of WHERE they want to go.

Make a choice, and then set up your army around you. Get good music, positive friends and plug into people who are excited about the opportunities we have right now.

It’s your choice. Make it count!